#why am i studying engineering. how did i agree to go to this college where the fees is like. exponentially higher than social work college

[snixx]

why didn't I go to social work college. I'm so scared

[wisteria-lodge]

bird primary + burnt snake secondary

 tl;dr: Fairly sure I'm Lion primary (maybe burned Badger since I sort of envy the idea of close communities, or hedonistic Snake, not sure where that line is)

(the way that divide works out is that basically, Burnt Badgers look like Snakes. They have the Snake's small community, but wish they could cast their net wider. Hedonistic Snakes tend to be more solo, and much more focused on /stuff/. Also, both options make pretty good short-term coping mechanisms.)

but unsure whether my secondary is Bird, Snake/burned Snake, or burned Lion.

I love researching and reverse-engineering and my immediate response to situations is to Google advice, but reactively, not proactively. I am allergic to planning, and prepwork feels stifling and unnatural.

Ooooh, have we got a single-player Environment Snake? (I also think of these as MacGyver Snakes.) Basically just pulling at the things around you in order to solve the problem at hand.

I studied math in college then did a coding bootcamp, and I always felt adrift because both only taught memorizing solutions to individual problems/proofs, not how to solve unfamiliar ones -- i.e., really learning. 

However, I neither consider myself flexible nor want to be, and singleplayer Snake is wayyyyyyyyyyyy more comfortable than stuff involving other people. (Complicating factor: not neurotypical.)

I think I can say, pretty confidently, that this system works just fine if you're not neurotypical. :) There's no reason you have to use the multi-player version if you don't want. The most dramatic single/multi player divide is probably Bookkeeper Badger vs Courtier Badger, and there are lots of people who prefer being just one or the other.

I do the "faces" thing reflexively, in the moment, but it doesn't feel like "shifting" or "becoming" anything: just me, lying.

That's Snake. "Becoming" is more of a word that a Courtier Badger would use, they kinda do have to believe it, or it doesn't work. Snake secondaries are a lot more aware of what they're doing, in the moment.

It's interesting that you are just straight-up using the word lie though. In my experience, Snakes are more likely to conceptualize that particular problem-solving strategy as "say it in a way they'll listen to," or something like that. You might just be super direct (and/or like hanging out in Neutral) buuuut... the negativity of "lie" can sometimes point to a Burnt secondary. No sign of that yet, but I'll keep an eye out for it.

I don't have a moral problem with lying; it's often even right since a) telling the truth often hurts people, and b) people do prefer it: most people want to hear what they want to hear, and if that happens to be the truth that's great.

Hmmm. This is sounding like primary stuff. And it's quite reasoned out, which makes me interested in hearing why you went for Lion primary instead of Bird.

But deep down, I guess I resent it. I wish that when I say what I mean it would convince people rather than create problems. I try to ration that to only things that REALLY matter to me, but tbh many things do. I hate arguing.

What I'm hearing here is the Bird primary fantasy of "If I was only able to explain it exactly right, in precisely the right words, then everyone would agree with me." And as you say earlier, it doesn't actually work like that. It sounds like you're feeling a bit cynical in regards to other people a the moment, and I can't exactly blame you.

I would love to be an inspirational secondary but I am bad at inspiring people.

There is definitely some burnt secondary talk going on here.

Family: I'm not close to my father -- he’s a terrible person, serial cheater, racist, etc. I'm closer to my mother, and don't think she's a bad person, but both parents were hypercritical and have horrible tempers, so my childhood felt horrible to live through since I was always getting yelled at or having corporal punishment used for doing something wrong.

Definitely seeing where the burned secondary energy is coming from, if so many of your formative experiences involved being told that the way you were doing things was wrong. I also see why you might have at least a fascination with the confident, firey, speak-your-truth-and-damn-the-consequences Lion secondary.

(On paper this could be called abusive, and anyone else being subjected to this makes me furious, but I'm not fully comfortable with the label for my situation, even though I know that's inconsistent.) 

I understand, and I appreciate that. I also appreciate your carefully articulated position, and it's slanting me in the direction of Bird primary. Even though this is obviously a topic you are very emotional about, all those emotions are arranged within the framework of thought. You're aware of and okay the fact that you feel all kinds of different ways about what happened.

Any secondary model came from my mom, but I don't know about primary. She always says my sister and I are "the most important things in her life." (One of the reasons I don’t want kids is that I don’t think I could ever believe or promise them that.) She ostensibly also hates my father and their divorce was vicious, but she kept working for him until he retired, goes on trips with him to see my sister or me, and pressured me for years to un-estrange him because “after all, he’s family” until I gave in and now pretend to have a relationship just enough to placate them. I don't have any ethical problems doing this, it's just irritating.

That is very, very unusual family dynamic. Have to get my head around that. Your mom may have some very intense Badger going on, especially with the the whole "after all, he's family" thing. That could fit go with a nasty divorce, especially if she thought his presence was a threat to you and your sister. On the other hand, she might just be able to compartmentalize to an insane degree, which would probably point to Bird secondary.

I don't understand this aspect of my mom; I observe it happening, but I don't understand it. It feels kind of sad, in an existential way. 

Honestly, I agree.

(Another way my dad sucks is that he played favorites with my sister and I, me being the favorite.

Being the Golden Child sucks just as much as being the Problem Child.

The shitty resulting dynamic is I only "care about" his approval to avoid him creating drama that ripples to everyone around him -- he's gotten better but he has literally started shit when I didn't end emails with "love" -- but my sister actually cares about his approval, and it hurts her.)

Secondary-wise, my mom would always harp on me to "pay attention to the people and things around you," and whenever I tell her about solving problems in Snakeish ways she's like "way to go, [me]!" But she also is meticulously planned and scheduled and organized, and hates surprises and not knowing exactly what will happen. She's the kind of person who gets frustrated in April when I haven’t told her my Thanksgiving itinerary, which, like... I don't want to think that far ahead.

She could be either Prep-work secondary, Bird or Badger. If she's a Bird, "pay attention to the people and things around you," points to a a Rapid-Fire Bird (which can look *very* Snakey.) Or it could be a way of describing Courtier Badger. Being that scheduled is more often a Bird thing... but I could also imagine a Badger manifesting like that, especially if she is so concerned with specifically planning holidays.

Low-stakes/high-stakes problem that felt good: This is a high-stakes problem containing a low-stakes problem. I'm rolling them together because they illustrate both aspects of my problem solving.

Higher stakes: That coding bootcamp required being on Zoom 8 hours every day. But I had 3 roommates (part of why I did it was to not have 3 roommates), and they didn't want me there that much. I can't go to coffee shops because either they're loud, or I will make them loud by talking for 8 hours, thus becoming the problem. Coworking spaces are expensive af. I even consider renting a storage unit but I don't think they have power and wifi. The idea I settle on is sneaking onto a nearby college campus: preferably the CS building, to blend in. I scour the college subreddit for posts about what buildings let students in without ID, then scout them out (this is March, the thing doesn't start until May, I'm just high on must-solve-now energy). After ~15 minutes (lol) of walking through campus I decide I've had enough, seems doable. The day of, I leave early in case I have to give up and go home, but that turned out to be completely pointless because tailgating in is shockingly easy. Like it's scary how easy it is. One day a security officer stopped me but even he eventually let me in after I acted increasingly frazzled and panicked -- not ENTIRELY an act but I definitely was playing it up.

I like this story. And I feel good about saying that it is QUITE snakey: what do I have immediately around me, and how can I use it to get what I want in this moment? Even little details like - you're not bothering to come up with a cover story or borrow/forge someone's ID. If you're caught you'll talk your way out of it. You did a little research, then scoped the place out, then were good to go.

Lower stakes: I usually did classes from an empty auditorium (students weren't supposed to be there but no one checked, and also I'm not a student right?). The whiteboard's eraser stand was a few inches away from the wall, and one day I drop my phone in the gap. Shit. The gap's way too high to reach down. I can't ask anyone for help because I'm already 2 layers deep of being somewhere I'm not supposed to be. The stand screws to the wall, but I don't have a screwdriver because who just carries a screwdriver around? (For whatever reason, going to a hardware store didn't occur to me.) I stare at the thing until I realize: I am literally in the ENGINEERING building. I search various offices, ask people for a screwdriver, but no luck. Then I see a board listing the departments. One floor has a "makerspace," and somehow, its door is wide open (the student lounge is locked down but the room with deadly power tools isn't, ???) I grab 5 sizes of screwdriver, then also grab duct tape and a ruler to fish my phone out in case the screwdrivers don't work, which turned out to be a good idea because they didn't

Sounds to me to me like you just MacGyvered a solution :D

One thing I am picking up on is your subtle critique of the existing rules/systems. Getting in via tailgateing is easier than it should be, talking your way past the guard was too easy. The door with the powertools really should be locked, etc. It's making me (again) think Bird primary for you. You've very tuned into the way things run, and how well designed (or not) that is. There's also just a little bit of Birdy rules-lawyer in "Students aren't allowed in this room, but I'm not a student (because I snuck in.)"

Hard decision-making process…. I don’t know. I don’t experience many decisions as hard. I often know what I want to do right away; the difficult part is doing it.

In the language of this system, that's a Burnt secondary.

Or I know what I should do, am obligated to do, have no choice but to do, etc., though sometimes it feels miserable or wrong, like resignation.

Unfortunately that is what it feels like to have a Burnt secondary - you just use whatever problem-solving strategy you can at random, since they all feel like a chore and it doesn't really matter.

I can feel proud of making certain "right" choices in an abstract self-congratulatory way, but I never like it or really feel good about it. I either act on something immediately or put it off until the decision makes itself, a drop-dead deadline approaches, I get bored/impulsive enough to do it on the spot, or I suddenly swerve my life toward something I like better.

You're definitely an Improvisational secondary. Which is really fine, even though I know it doesn't feel that way all the time when you come from a family of intense Prep-work people. Just keep an eye on that 'wait until the deadline' impulse. It's very, very common for neurodivergent people to use that last-minute stress adrenaline to kind of hack their brain, and it's not sustainable.

I'd wanted to change careers for years but the actual decision to do the bootcamp was an impulse based on ~3 hours' research the day I encountered it.

That can absolutely work though. You *are* working on the problem and mulling it over in your head long term, even if you are (in the words of another snake secondary) "waiting for the opportune moment."

This is all healthy and well-adjusted, and it definitely has never caused any predictable problems! (Did get a job though.)

Hey, if it's stupid and it works, it's not stupid.

My fantasy: To be successful and well-known in my field; to create the kind of art I want to create and have it be respected/influential. To live the life I want, with the aesthetic I want, and the opportunities from others and follow-through from me to achieve that. The details vary based on the field but that's the general template. 

I'd say that's a very human fantasy, without too many details that slant me one way or the other, in terms of this system. There's definitely a focus on the community around you and how you relate to it/integrate into it. And that makes me think Bird (the external primary) is more likely than Lion (the internal primary.)

Characters: I relate to characters who are flawed in the same ways I am -- they feel like cautionary tales -- or sometimes via empathizing in a way the story doesn’t (Carlotta from Phantom got done DIRTY).

It's interesting that you respond to characters who the narrative framing doesn't support, because the narrative framing doesn't support them. I guess that does fit with your interest in constructed systems, and if they're useful/functional or not. Which points to Bird.

On that big pop culture character test I always get Hannah from Girls and Gaius Baltar from Battlestar Galactica: harsh, but not wrong.

(I always get Inara from Firefly and Céline from Before Sunrise.)

It's been a second since I've seen Girls or Battlestar Galactica, but I do think that both of those characters are Bird Snakes, which is honestly impressive since Bird Snakes are easily the least common fictional archetype.

Baltar is clever, adaptive, reactive, he pulls from around him. He also bluffs and will *act* like he's an expert when he really isn't. A lot of his internal conflict revolves around extremely Bird primary rationalization - is this situation really his fault? and if it is, what is he morally/rationally supposed to do about it (if anything?) "Voice of *a* generation" Hannah also has this way of getting caught in her own feedback loops when trying to figure herself out. One of my favorite moments is the bit where she loses her purse on the way back from the wedding, and then rides the train all the way to Coney Island, sits on the beach and eats the slice of wedding cake while watching the sun rise. I think that's beautiful, and a very Snake secondary response.

I also gravitate toward a specific archetype: Blanche from A Streetcar Named Desire, Madame Bovary, Violetta from La Traviata. People who desire an impossible thing deeply and unshakably, temporarily achieve it, and are taken down dramatically.

Now that, I'm thinking is a story structure that you like. And/or you're drawn to these tragic great ladies, living most of the way in a fantasy world. It's a good, cathartic archetype.

What makes me feel powerful: I don’t really resonate with that framing. The closest is that feeling like I have no options is the same for me as feeling powerless.

Okay, "not feeling powerless," I'll take it. And we're back to that Burnt secondary again. I'm hoping you'll leave your Snake a little more room to breathe and play, because it seems like you're a pretty capable person. You manage to do the things you want to get done, and you have an excellent awareness of what are good and bad situations, both for you and just in general.

Thank you to anonymous for such an excellent submission. If you'd like a Sorting of your very own, commissions are open on my ko-fi. :D

If you'd like to read more about the system I'm using, my explanation is right here.

[wingsofanillyrian]

Lights Over Monaco: Chapter 1

ITS HERE! I plan on updating this weekly/biweekly, based on how busy I am. Let me know if you wanna be added to the tag list! 

Special thank you to my new F1 friend for inspiring this fic as well as being my beta reader, @acourtofcouture​ ! F1 fans out there, her fics are AMAZING

Chapter Masterlist

F1 Glossary

----------------

Nesta Archeron discovered Formula 1 when she was 9 years old. She woke before the sun one Sunday morning, quietly excited to have the television all to herself and watch whatever cartoons she wanted. But she couldn’t remember what channel they were on, instead flipping through the programs. She had almost given up when she stumbled across a race.

The moment she had seen the brightly colored open-wheeled cars flash across the screen, she paused. For whatever reason, the high pitched wasp-like scream of the twelve cylinder engines and the astonishing speed that the drivers were travelling enthralled young Nesta. She didn’t look away once for the rest of the race, or even for the post-race interviews and wrap up that most adults skipped. Something about it had her adrenaline pumping.

Nesta traded her dolls for matchbox cars, and when she grew older, picked up racing magazines instead of teen ones. Ever since that day, Formula 1 consumed her. No matter how the other kids or her two younger sisters teased her for it, her love for the sport never tarnished. 

She spent years getting up at 2 am to watch live races that were being held halfway around the world. Instead of going to her senior prom, Nesta stayed home and layed out her predictions for the season’s drivers and constructors championships. She didn’t know how to do anything half-ass. She poured her whole heart into the sport and devoted her life to it.

**********

Nesta spent her 24th birthday working. It wasn’t like she could request the day off, not that it mattered. The racetrack at Monaco was exactly where she would have been anyway, working or not.

A press pass got her through the first security checkpoint. The team tents loomed ahead as she waited for personnel to cross the unstriped asphalt, inching her car carefully through the throngs of people. She rolled her window down, soaking in the sound of air tools and snippets of conversations. 

Street tracks like Monaco were her favorite. They required drivers to push themselves with plenty of technical corners and dramatic incidents. There was less room for error, as the tracks themselves were not as wide. Drivers had to know their limits and follow the racing line closely.

Race tracks were Nesta’s comfort zone. She knew each track on the calendar like the back of her hand. Every turn was permanently etched in her mind like words on a tombstone. Race weekends followed a set schedule, something that she could appreciate. Friday: practice laps. Saturday: more practice, followed by qualifying, where each driver got the chance to set the fastest lap and secure a spot in the starting line up for the main event on Sunday.

Before she had graduated college, Nesta had managed to fully entrench herself in the world of Formula 1. Securing an internship at ESPN her sophomore year, she had made herself indispensable to the crusty old man that had been the senior track side reporter for decades. She studied everything he did and the questions he asked each driver, noting what changes she would have made. Somehow, he came to admire her spirit and taught her the tricks of the trade.

When he retired the year after Nesta graduated, he went to the board of directors and personally recommended her to fill his spot. She waited two agonizing days for their decision. 

Using whatever means necessary, Nesta had clawed her way to the top and cemented her reputation as the most cutthroat reporter in the industry. Her goal had been for everyone in motorsport to know her name, and in only two years, she had done so. Better yet, she had caught the eye of one of the fastest drivers on the grid.

Her phone rang just as she pulled into the press parking area. She answered, not bothering to check the caller ID. “Hello?”

Tomas’ velvety voice thundered through the speakers of her Civic. “Hey baby. You here yet?”

“Just pulled in,” She replied, touching up her makeup in the rearview. 

“Right on time for a quickie. Meet me at my trailer in five.”

Tomas had already hung up before she had the chance to protest. Both their reputations hinged on their relationship staying secret. If the press caught wind that she was fucking a driver, her credibility would go out the window, and Tomas would be the laughing stock of the grid. So sneaking into his trailer wasn’t exactly the type of discreet she was aiming for.

Tomas Mandray had been racing for Red Bull for two years when she had scored her first exclusive interview with him. He had just been awarded pole position at the Spanish Grand Prix in Barcelona, and Nesta had sweet talked her way into the paddock. It had taken minutes for his charming blue eyes to enchant her. He had won that race, and taken her to bed straight after. 

The sex was great, but that’s all it ever was. Their relationship was purely based on the physical; nothing emotional on either end. They had agreed on that from the start. Just sex.

Unfortunately for Nesta, somewhere along the way it had become something more.

Sighing, she put on her oversized sunglasses and hid her tawny hair under a gauzy scarf. The fashion wouldn’t stand out at all amongst the celebrities that frequented the Monaco Grand Prix. Going over the top here was expected; Monaco was known for its money. Due to the lack of income tax, Monaco was a haven for white collar delinquents and royalty alike. Lamborghini’s and Ferrari’s were commonplace, and women wore rings that could set a jewel thief up for life. 

No one bothered her as she strode towards the pit checkpoint, flashing her press badge to get by. She fell into her usual cadence, exuding an air of importance and invincibility. Seemingly without realizing, people moved out of her way when they saw her coming. The navy, red, and yellow of the Redbull tent came into view, and Nesta inserted herself into the crowd of mechanics and VIPs to get past security. Press wasn’t allowed in the area until after the race.

Nesta broke away once inside, heading down a back corridor. She knew the layout by heart, having walked the path many times. The door at the end of the hall led outside to Tomas’ private trailer. She didn’t bother to knock before entering. Tomas would already be waiting for her.

He set down his phone as she entered. “Finally,” He said with a savage grin. “We only have a few minutes.”

****************

Tomas left as soon as he finished, donning his jumpsuit without so much as a kiss goodbye. Utterly used to the behavior, Nesta straightened her clothes and again touched up her makeup before heading back out.

She was scheduled to conduct a pre-race interview with Cassian Valle in the Mercedes tent in twenty minutes. Redbull and Mercedes were at opposite ends of the pit, giving her plenty of time to think.

Truthfully, Nesta was dreading the interaction. Cassian was an arrogant ass. She couldn’t stand interviewing him; all he did was skirt around questions and try to flirt, which made it incredibly difficult to get any headline-worthy tidbits from him.

Azriel Sainz, Cassian’s teammate at Mercedes, was much more amiable. He was mostly forgettable and quiet, but always gave her something to work with and was sometimes downright pleasant to talk to. She could understand why the public loved him, but not why they were so enamored with Cassian. Sure, he was a three time world champion, and that earned him plenty of fans, but he was just so… dreadful.

She made it to the Mercedes pit just minutes before the scheduled time, immediately spotting her tense cameraman, Jacob. Slim built, he was average looking, nothing special. He was sweet though, if not a bit of a pushover.

“Where the hell have you been?” He hissed, chocolate brown eyes wide. “Valle is waiting.”

Nesta rolled her eyes, handing Jacob her sunglasses and the scarf. “I’m here now, aren’t I? Not my fault if he was early.” Nesta accepted her microphone and rolled her shoulders. “Let’s get this over with then.”

“Happy birthday by the way,” Jacob added. Yes, there was the pushover side shining through. 

Nesta threw a grin at him over her shoulder. “Thanks.”

Cassian’s back was to her as she approached, his white Mercedes jumpsuit half on, the arms of it cinched around his waist. The crisp gray shirt he wore left little to the imagination, hugging his sculpted form. Good; at least that would capture the attention of any women that might be watching. As would the deep brown curl that fell in his face when he turned to her.

“If it isn’t my very favorite reporter,” He crooned, a grin plastered on his face. “Took you long enough to get here. I also hear it’s your birthday.” Nesta glared at Jacob. He shrank under her steely look, an apology stumbling from his lips.

“I would give you a birthday kiss, but I think you’d knock me out if I offered.”

Nesta pointedly ignored him, “Let’s just get on with it,” She said, motioning to Jacob to start recording. Once he signaled he was ready, Nesta breathed deep, the sweet scent of high octane fuel assaulting her senses. It steadied her, and she slipped into her professional mask before turning to the camera.

“As we all know, the Monaco Grand Prix offers drivers a unique set of challenges. The two-mile street course has 19 technical corners with little room for error. It is in Monaco that we get to see who has what it takes to be a Formula 1 champion.” She turned to Cassian, gave him a professional smile and continued.

“Last year, you had a puncture at turn seven when you ran over some debris. Coupled with the fumble the pit crew had with not having your tires ready when you came into the pit, you finished a disappointing 12th place, winning you no points in the driver’s championship. Do you expect that this year will be better, or will you stick to your usual aggressive driving style?”

Cassian laughed, running a hand through his unbound curls. “Yeah, I don’t think I’ll be changing anything. You can expect to see me on the podium, sweetheart. Most likely in first.”

Nesta grit her teeth. She couldn’t air that, and he knew it. “How about you answer the question without trying to piss me off?”

“It’s too easy,” Cassian said, that devilish grin returning. Nesta cut him a glare that simmered with violence. “Alright fine,” He relented, putting his hands up. “Go again.”

She repeated her question, and this time he answered, “I don’t really see any need to change my driving style, what happened last year was a fluke. I went wide on the turn and didn’t notice Vanserra's front wing until the last second and wasn’t able to change course.” Nesta nodded, encouraging him to go on. “I don't see myself making any mistakes like that this year. You can expect to see me on the podium, most likely in first.”

“Thank you for that Cassian. Good luck on the track today.”

“Thank you,” He said, waving at the camera. He paused before adding, “Though I won’t need luck.”

Nesta rolled her eyes and signaled for Jacob to cut the recording. At least that last bit could be edited out. “You are absolutely insufferable, you know that?”

Cassian shrugged, undoing the arms of his fire suit and slipping into them. “I do my best.” He winked at her before zipping up his suit, opening his mouth to say something else when the Mercedes team principal, Rhysand, barked at him to get his ass in gear. He gave Nesta a wordless salute before jogging off.

“I don’t know how you do it,” Jacob said, packing up his camera. “That guy has balls.”

“He’s a Formula 1 driver,” Nesta said simply, putting her sunglasses back on. “Of course he does.”

**********

Nesta watched the 78 lap race from the press box, silently cheering Tomas on. Each time the pack of cars passed, the windows rattled, doing little to muffle the engine noise. She chatted with the others as necessary, keeping one eye on the tarmac below. Tomas had started from pole position, and held onto first place until the final 10 laps. He had attempted to lap an AlphaTauri driver when the driver had failed to yield, violating FIA regulations. The two had bumped tires in what was ruled a racing incident, but Nesta knew better. Tomas had lost his cool and nudged the other driver on purpose, nearly sending him into the wall. 

It was a bad call on Tomas’ part, as the comfortable four second lead he had held over second place shattered. Nesta swore under her breath as Cassian overtook Tomas, her heart dropping when the other Mercedes driver, Azriel, did the same. Tomas would not be happy about that. 

When the checkered flag waved, Cassian was first, Azriel second, and Tomas third.  The winners parked before the podium, anger radiating from Tomas as he tore his helmet off. Tamlin, the Redbull team principal, said something to Tomas that had his cheeks burning red. 

Nesta grabbed Jacob and headed for the press room. They had a half hour tops before the post-race interviews started, and Nesta had to make sure she was front row. Though it didn’t matter where she sat; she always made sure her questions were answered.

It was more so for Tomas. She wanted him to see her, to see the understanding on her face and know she supported him even when he didn't win.

They were first to the press room, and Nesta had ample time to prepare questions. She couldn’t question Tomas, or she risked uncapping his rage. Instead, she jotted down a question she knew would shift the focus from Tomas to the Mercedes drivers.

Reporters began filing in, vying for the perfect spot and debating the race results with one another. Nesta remained in her seat, determined to maintain her composure as her stomach churned. Tomas finally entered, jaw set as he took his place on the stage. Nesta tried to subtly catch his eye, but he pointedly avoided looking at her. 

Cassian and Azriel entered, laughing and congratulating each other. Nesta noted the slight change in Tomas’ posture, the only hint of the blood boiling beneath his skin. Cameras flashed, reporters shouted, but still Nesta remained seated. Cassian, at least, sought her out in the crowd, and flashed her an ‘I-told-you-so’ grin when he found her. Once the clamor had died down, Nesta stood. The room quieted further, the others having learned not to talk over her if they valued their jobs. Nesta had a knack for digging up dirt on anyone she pleased.

Her eyes were still locked on Cassian as the moderator indicated she could ask her question. 

“Azriel,” She started, turning to the dark haired man, “You were lucky you were able to take second in this race, after the incident in turn twelve on lap 27 when you sustained heavy damage to your front wing, thanks to the actions of your teammate. Does it ever get under your skin that Valle’s overly-aggressive driving threatens your own position in the championship?”

The room was silent. Tomas hid his grin behind a well-manicured hand. Cassian’s eyes narrowed, a muscle in his jaw fluttering. Good; she had hit a nerve. Azriel shrugged, crossing his arms. 

“It was a racing incident. Could have happened to anyone. I don’t think the blame lays entirely with Cassian; I could have given him more room on the corner.”

And that was that. Nesta didn’t ask any more questions, but she could feel Cassian glaring at her throughout. At the end of the interview, all three drivers thanked everyone before leaving.

As Nesta made her way back to her car, she texted Tomas.

You okay?

Her heart pounded as she waited for the reply. Her phone buzzed minutes later.

I’ll be home late. Party at the Redbull house.

Oh. Okay. See you later then.

“Happy birthday to me,” She muttered, stuffing the phone in her pocket.

Nesta wasn’t sure why his reply stung, but it cut deep. She had hoped that he would want to see her instead of going to another party and spend time with her on her birthday. Instead, he would probably stick his tongue down another woman’s throat like usual. She couldn’t really blame him. Their relationship had to remain secret and to do so, Tomas had to maintain his playboy aura. It wasn’t really cheating if she had agreed to it.

But if that were true, why did it hurt so fucking bad when he did?

Some of her tension eased when she finally spied her car in the lot. The Blue Bullet, she had nicknamed it, due to the strikingly bright paint. It was the first purchase she had made upon being promoted, and it had since become her pride and joy. She had chosen it because it set lap records left and right when it had hit the market a few years back, and she had craved speed her whole life. On city streets, this car was the closest she could get to experiencing Formula 1 without completely breaking the bank.

“How about you don’t ask stupid fucking questions next time your prettyboy loses?”

Nesta’s breath hitched. Your prettyboy. The accusation was clear. Her hand slipped from the door handle, turning towards the voice. If he knew… If he knew about her and Tomas, they were done for. She willed her voice into solid steel.

“Cassian. I would advise you to choose your next words wisely.”

He placed a hand on her Civic, getting in her face. “Racing means you have racing incidents. I don’t expect you to understand, seeing as you’ve never been behind the wheel of a real race car.” He sneered at her car, the insult striking home.

Fear faded, replaced by a rising wave of scarlett rage. Nesta’s gaze stuck to where his hand lay on the bright blue paint, utterly vexed by the infringement. She bared her teeth at him, rising to the challenge in Cassian’s flaming hazel eyes. 

“Get. Off.”

Cassian started at the command in her tone and obeyed. He opened his mouth, but she cut him off. “Understanding the nuances of Formula 1 is my job description. I asked about that incident because I knew it would piss you off. Looks like I was right huh?” Her temper was getting the better of her. “And by the way, would it kill you to give me a decent quote once in a while, instead of always trying to get in my pants?”

“I do not-”

“Oh go fuck yourself,” Nesta scoffed, yanking the door open. 

The corners of his mouth twitched upward as she slammed the car door. “I was already planning on it.”

Those parting words haunted her drive home, even as she took the long way in hopes of blowing off steam. She shifted through the gears, throwing the Civic around corners much faster than was probably safe. Nesta didn’t care; her head was a mess. At least he hadn’t mentioned anything more about Tomas. Maybe Cassian had just thought she had a crush, based on the way she had been looking at him during the conference. Gods, she couldn’t get Cassian out of her head. 

His grin followed her up the stairs to her apartment, where she snapped the curtains shut. She couldn’t bear to look out over the track any longer today. 

Those words echoed in her head as she brushed her teeth and crawled into bed alone. Swam through her thoughts of Tomas, as she struggled to keep her eyes open when the clock showed 1 am. As she finally gave in, they were her last thought. 

I was already planning on it. 

@aphoeni @planet-faerie  @nina-zcnik @linsimin @that-little-red-head @teagoddess99 @enpointe10 @electronicstrawberrystrawberry @awesomelena555 @iptneus @weesablackbeak @wonderland--memories @nessian-trash-heap @magicalwaterfall @perfectlyimpxrfect @cassians-wings @valkyrie-archeron @acourtofcouture @nesemryn @chloepereyra @illyrianshadowhunter​ 

[pinkpastels113]

Talk Numbers To Me

Rating: G

Word Count: 3,326

Pairing: Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell

Summary: In which Chloe gets help from her mathematical genius.

End B/C. One-Shot. Fluff. Tumblr prompt.

Read on ao3 or ff.net or below.

Prompt from anon; hope you all like.

Chloe shuffles her papers, kicking her feet in frustration at the numbers swirling in her head. Her hand flies to her hair, the pencil tangling in its strands.

“You okay there, Chloe?”

She looks up, sees Stacie blink questioningly at her from the microwave, and gives a tentative smile. “Yeah, just...” she sighs. “Homework.”

Stacie nods, retrieving her dinner burritos and closing the microwave door. “Do you need help?”

Chloe bites her lip and looks back down at the sheets of homework staring back at her from the kitchen table, its once clean blank lines now covered in blurry grey smudges. She doesn’t want to be of any inconvenience. “Nah, I’ll be okay. Thank you though, Stacie.”

“Are you sure?” Stacie grabs for a napkin before making her way over, “Because if it’s science, I can definitely help you out.”

Chloe carefully detangles her pencil from her pounding head, laying it back down onto the wooden surface. It’s not science, but something in Stacie’s tone of voice has her intrigued. “Oh?”

Stacie pulls out a chair, sits. She sets her styrofoam plate down onto an area not littered by mountains of paperwork and reaches for the one directly in front of Chloe. “Yup. I double major in Chemistry and Biomedical engineering. Which pretty much covers all the sciences that you could possibly take in your second senior year.”

Chloe raises her eyebrows, impressed. “Wow. I didn’t know that you double major, Stace. That’s amazing.”

Her fellow Bella just shrugs, eyes quickly scanning the page. “Eh, it’s alright. I love science anyways so it’s no big deal.” She then pauses, presumably figuring out that the subject of Chloe’s dilemma is most definitely not the one of which she is an expert in. “Oh, this is math.”

Chloe groans just at the mention of the word, tilting her head back to the fluorescent light of the kitchen ceiling. “Yeah, math. The worst form of torture in the entire world.”

Stacie just chuckles, shaking her head, “Only to people who don’t understand it.” She then stands, clutching Chloe’s topic of frustration between a thumb and forefinger. “I would love to help you out, Chloe, but I think someone else may be better at explaining this for you. She is a math genius after all.”

Chloe gets out of her chair as well, brows furrowing curiously as she trails behind the tall brunette, only then realizing that they are making their way to the living room, where the sounds of the tv can be heard, signalling the presence of the rest of the Bellas. “Someone else? Who else could be better at math than a Biomedical engineer?”

“Someone who actually studies it.”

And before Chloe could even ponder over which Bella would possibly want to subject themselves to the torture that is freaking mathematics, they have reached the entrance of the living room, and Stacie has called out the answer.

“Hey, Beca!”

What?

Chloe gapes, completely taken aback as she watches the unrequited love of her life look up from the screen of her phone at the mention of her name. “Yeah?”

Stacie waves the paper in her hand even as she continues to stalk forward. “Chloe needs your help with some math. I said that I would, but I just figured that a double math and physics major such as yourself would be a much better and viable option.”

Understandably, Chloe is not the only one in the room to have no previous knowledge of this news, or the only one to be completely shocked by it. Fat Amy turns away from the tv to quirk a disbelieving brow. “Double major? Shawshank? Math and Physics ?”

Chloe couldn’t help but agree. She knows that it’s wrong and impolite to underestimate a person’s abilities on what he or she could or not do, especially when said abilities are in academics—after all, they are all still in college—but Beca ? One of her best friends in the whole wide world, not to mention her secret crush/obsession/favorite person/love of her life and possibly all the lives she could possibly have hereafter—if she believes in that kind of stuff, which she kind of does, especially if it pertains to a possibility of her getting together with said love in one of those lives in the far future—with whom she had been pining for—especially at the times where it had been particularly difficult and tiresome—seemingly since the beginning of time? Beca, who would always tend to blow off school until the very last minute; Beca, who would rather spend time fiddling with her music in her room all by herself with just her and her headphones rather than indulge in books or people or anything not involving of her mixing board unless someone—usually Chloe—had to physically drag her away from the screen of her computer to go hang out? Beca?

Shouldn’t she have known everything there is to know about Beca in all these years—albeit technically that only includes two, but sometimes she really just feels like they have known each other since they were kids—that they’ve been friends? Teammates? Roommates? Family?

Beca rolls her eyes, stretching her arms in front of her chest to pull her body into a proper sitting position on the side of the couch. She locks and tosses aside her phone. “Yeah, I couldn’t decide which one to pick so I just decided to go for both. You guys didn’t know?”

Chloe finally finds it within herself to blurt out something that does not include her incredulity of the small brunette being capable of taking the most ruthless and tedious majors that there could possibly be in all the majors one could take at Barden University, “No, Beca, we didn’t.”

Jessica, Ashley, Flo, and Cynthia Rose collectively shake their heads in agreement.

Lilly just blinks, and Fat Amy’s lone brow stays exactly where it is.

Stacie snorts, Chloe’s paper dangling casually between two perfectly manicured nails against her side as she crosses her arms, shifting her weight onto one foot, “Figures. I suppose you all didn’t know that I am a double major too, did you?”

Six of the Bellas’ attention spotlight on the slightly indignant brunette, gasps and shouts of surprise and amazement instantly tossed into the air, Stacie’s explanation of the functionality of Biomedical Engineering immediately a follow up, but Chloe barely notices, because she is too busy having a silent exchange with her co-captain still situated on the couch.

She widens her eyes. Is this true? Are you being serious?

Beca nods, smirks. Hell yeah I am.

Chloe tilts her head, pouts. Why didn’t you tell me?

Beca shrugs. Didn’t find a reason to. She then rubs the back of her neck, looking suddenly sheepish and uncomfortable. And it’s not like it’s a big deal.

Chloe frowns, shakes her hands about. It is a big deal to me ! She then gestures between the pair of them. We’re friends, Becs, we are supposed to tell each other these kinds of things!

Beca tips her chin to the front of her chest, tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, and then peers at her shyly through her lashes. Sorry, Chlo.

Chloe’s heart melts, her feet immediately carrying her forward, and she lowers herself onto the couch cushions next to Beca, taking extensive care to not sit on her phone. She offers a soft and forgiving smile, before pulling her best friend swiftly into a hug. Don’t be sorry, Beca. She presses a kiss to her cheek. It’s okay.

Beca’s body relaxes, and somehow Chloe understands that the small brunette is relieved of the fact that Chloe is not mad or judgemental or flighty about how she is a double major in both math and physics. Chloe wonders if that is the reason why Beca hadn’t told her—that she had been afraid of her reaction—and if that is the reason why she had put on a brave face in front of the Bellas.

Beca always pretends like everything is fine and ineffective to her well being when she feels extremely self-conscious. She likes to put on a hard shell and proclaim the attitude of a “badass” to balm over her real emotions, to put on a show of I don’t care and whatever to mask over the I do care and I do feel.

Chloe gets the feeling that if it hadn’t been for Stacie—who’d most likely just stumbled across the discovery by accident—none of them would have known, until possibly graduation, when someone questioningly points out the lettering of her certificate, the duality of her degree.

Beca is bashful, self-conscious, secretive , of her abilities and status as a mathematical genius.

Chloe puts her lips to Beca’s ear. “Help me with my homework, please.”

She feels her best friend shiver, pull away, her beautiful stormy blues shy and reluctant as they flit across Chloe’s face, search between her eyes, and Chloe just sits and stays and waits until she says yes.

“Okay.”

Chloe beams, her arms unconsciously going around to surround Beca’s back for another embrace before she pulls away, and she stands up and makes her way over to Stacie, a bounce in her step as she taps the tall brunette—who’s now making fun of herself for being the “hot one” of the group—on the shoulder to get her attention, smiling gratefully when she turns and notices and hands her paper over.

“Thanks, Stace,” she says, winking to signal the double sentiment of her gratitude for both the help and the revelation of the information, grinning widely as Stacie comprehends and nods.

Hazel greens flash quickly and meaningfully to the slight brunette in the room, “Anytime.”

Chloe lets her return to her conversation with the rest of the Bellas, spinning around to purse her lips questioningly to ask Beca where it is that she wants to go.

My room.

Chloe leads the way, making a brisk detour to the kitchen to gather up her things, and she speeds up the stairs and skips down the hall, letting herself into the double bedded bedroom Beca currently shares with Amy.

“So why’d you choose math?” She decides between the bed and the desk chair, going for the bed.

Beca takes the chair. “I dunno,” she shrugs, “Just wanted to, I guess.”

Chloe sets the papers down onto the bedding, and makes herself comfortable. “You must really enjoy it for it to be a half of your double major, Becs.”

Beca gives a noncommittal hum, crossing her legs and wiping her hands onto the dark denim.

“And what about Physics? Any reason why you wanted to study that as well?”

“Oh,” Beca glances to her mixing board, “That’s just for sound engineering. It really makes it easier to find and test out the best places for a good mashup, and it’s really just useful for the recording and production of music.”

Chloe makes a small noise of understanding, following her line of sight briefly before going for the subject catalysing the shocking news of that evening. She picks up the first sheet of her homework, smoothing it out before offering it enthusiastically forwards, “So, math genius, you wanna let me know how it’s done?”

Beca grins, one hand caught between her thighs modestly as the other one reaches for the paper, “Sure, Beale. Good to know that you’re actually in need of my help for something.”

Chloe pushes back her hair, blinking at her in confusion, “What do you mean?”

Beca hides her face behind the frustrating sheet of paper, “Nothing. Just that you always seem to know exactly what you’re doing. Everybody always seems to go to you for help, never the other way around.”

Chloe’s heart flutters in her chest, and she has to push it down before it can go all swoony over the likely unintentional romantic admission. Later. “I don’t always seem to know exactly what I’m doing, Beca. I usually just wing it, and hope for the best.” At Beca’s disbelieving but playful scoff, she leans forward to bend over the top half of her paper, revealing Beca’s face, “And I’m here now, aren’t I? Math has always been a subject that I can absolutely not deal with.”

Beca rolls the tip of her tongue over the fronts of her teeth, “Only cuz nobody but nerds like me actually gets it. Still doesn’t establish the fact that you’re no less amazing and brilliant at everything else you do.”

If Beca had been Chloe’s girlfriend—if she had been dreaming that she is—Chloe would have lunged forward and kissed her senseless.

Settling for biting her lower lip anxiously to withhold the urge, Chloe gestures to the paper in her hands. “Well? Do you know how to do this?”

Beca looks like she’s just been snapped out of a daze. “Oh yeah, totally.” She spins around in her chair to reach for her bag, unzipping it and pulling out a tiny whiteboard from the utmost layer, as well as an Expo marker. “It’s kinda easy, actually. I can explain it.”

Chloe giggles at the materials in her hands as Beca turns back around. “Aw, that’s so cute!”

Beca glares, laying the whiteboard on one side of her lap and the paper in the other. “Shut up. It’s just convenient.”

Chloe mimes zipping and locking her lips and throwing away the key, but the smile on her face is irreplaceable.

Beca nudges open the cap of the Expo, letting it drop softly onto the floor at her feet as she rereads the question. “So, it says that this Marco dude needs to figure out where his stupid ball is gonna land if he throws it over the top of a building, so we have to make a graph.”

Chloe laughs, already comfortable with the familiar way Beca seems to make any situation less intimidating, “Do you talk to yourself like that when you do your own math?”

“Do you want my help or not?”

“Sorry, sorry,” Chloe lays a hand over her mouth in an attempt to stifle her amusement. “Carry on.”

Beca shakes her head, apparently having gotten very invested in her knowledge of math despite being self-conscious of it, “Jesus, Chlo. Anyways,” she brings the tip of the marker onto the whiteboard to draw two perpendicular lines, “Here’s the graph—” she draws a rectangle to represent the aforementioned building, along with a dot at the y-intercept, “—and here’s our dude.”

“Ooh, can we write down Marco,” Chloe interrupts, bouncing in her seat and pointing to the blank and boring dot.

Beca gives her a look, before sarcastically heeding her request. Five letters were squished against the side of the y-axis with an adorable arrow, “There. Happy?”

Chloe blows her a kiss, “Very.”

Beca sighs, dramatically, before continuing on, “So as I was saying, there’s Marco, and his ball is—” she scribbles down a number next to the side, “Thrown from this height, and we need to figure out—” she dashes a parabolic line towards the situational ground, “Where this —” she makes another dot, labelling it “splat”—much to Chloe’s delight— on the x-axis, “Is.”

Chloe nods vigorously, chin in her hands as she shifts closer to the edge of the bed, her butt just barely situated on the mattress now as she leans closer for a better look, “Yeah, totes.”

Beca doesn’t seem to notice her new proximity, on a roll now that she has gotten started, “And they have given you the formula so now, considering the fact that gravity is a thing and negative distances are not—” she copies down the formula and writes down what the variables represent for her right under, “You just have to plug all this shit in to get the answer.”

“Ohh,” Chloe says, getting it, but it falls on deaf ears as Beca seems to automatically plug in the figures for her, crossing out variables and scribbling down altercations as she goes along, and Chloe’s jaw drops, as seconds later, she has come to a conclusion.

Beca scribbles down “20 feet” and circles it victoriously, a small but satisfactory “Aha” escaping her lips as she holds the whiteboard up to the light. “There, I got it.”

A sudden wave of heat pools low in her belly, and Chloe gasps as she tries to make sense of the unexpected spike of arousal at the sight of the wide and unrestrained and confident grin painting across Beca’s lips, at the sight of the happiness and satisfaction sparkling within stormy blues, and at the sight of the pink and musically talented tongue clenched between Beca’s teeth, as if used as an anchor to her excitement of getting another math problem right.

Holy heck, Beca Mitchell is hot when she does math.

Chloe must have made a distracting sound, because Beca suddenly jolts, as if just then realizing that she is not alone, pink flushing into her cheeks as she lowers the whiteboard, her uncontainable grin fading into a sheepish smile, and she meekly hands the answer over.

“Sorry,” she says, fidgeting uncomfortably in her chair, eyes downcast to her feet as she watches them scuffle nervously against the floor, “I just got so excited. I don’t know what came over me, Chlo, I—” she visibly swallows, “I hadn’t meant to just finish your problem for you.”

Screw it. It doesn’t freaking matter that Beca is not her girlfriend.

Chloe pushes the whiteboard aside and grasps the arms of Beca’s chair, yanking it and the person in it towards her waiting mouth, and she kisses her best friend/secret crush/obsession/favorite person/love of her life/mathematical genius square on the lips with as much fervor—if not more—as the moment previous in which she had desired to dole out when Beca had inadvertently complimented her as an amazing and capable and kind individual in and of itself, and she groans, her feet spreading to accommodate the chair between her legs and her brain kicking into overdrive to accommodate the gasp fluttering into her mouth.

Beca freezes, her eyes still presumably wide open as Chloe nips against her lips, and Chloe is just about to pull away and chart the situation up to another uncontrollable heat of the moment when she feels the small brunette reciprocate, arms wrapping around her neck and lips pressing closer, and Chloe slides her hands down from the arms of the chair to tuck between the cushion of the seat and Beca’s thighs, lifting her up and into the air before prompting dumping her in her lap, and she giggles as Beca huffs at the ease of which she has completed the action.

“Show off,” Beca grumbles, her minty breath a mournful absence as she pulls her mouth away to kiss the angle of Chloe’s jaw, “This is exactly what I had meant.”

Chloe tilts her head to allow Beca more access, “Coming from the person who had just figured out the answer to my mathematical problem in just a number of seconds, I think you are being irrational, Beca.”

Beca laughs, her nose nuzzling into the side of her neck affectionately at the pun, and Chloe’s heart pounds, her fingers immediately going to scramble her papers off the bed and her body further onto it. “That literally calculates up to zero creativity, Chlo.”

“Whatever,” she says, adjusting herself amongst the blue sheets and rectangular pillows, “I’m not a mathematical nerd, unlike someone I know.”

“Mm,” Beca reconnects their lips, her fingers playing the ends of Chloe’s hair, “Speaking of, are we gonna finish your homework?”

“Later,” Chloe tugs at their clothes, her tongue darting out to trace the seam of Beca’s wide and unrestrained smile, “We can do it later. Right now I just want my hot and secretive mathematical genius to talk numbers to me.”

---

I rushed through this in the span of four hours (not nearly long enough for me to make grammatical and detailing errors) so I hope you all enjoyed it despite my laziness :P

Also, if you’re the anon who gave me this prompt, I hope I did you justice, and that I hope you liked it despite any intentions that you had initially had at the suggestion of this prompt (I know I did, but oh well, what’s done is done, and I’m honestly just happy that I am finished lol).

Let me know what you all think! :))

[elysianslove]

hi! how have you been since the hell that ensued after halloween is?

also could you do a batboys college au? like their major and how the reader would meet them and all that jazz? 👉👈

-🐥

hi anon!! i’m not sure what ur talking about @ the halloween stuff hvsdhjs but! here are the batboys hc’s! i’m not very familiar with duke thomas’s character enough to write about him tbh, so he’s not included here :( but if you want me to add him let me know!! i hope you enjoy!!

dick grayson

out of all the batboys i really didn’t know how to choose a major for him

but

i think he’d do law tbh, specifically criminal law 

his main motivation to become a police officer in bludhaven had been to be able to help people in any way he can 

i forgot if it’s canon or not but he does realize how corrupt it is and he quits but that’s another thing we won’t get into that lmao 

anyways yes let’s just stick with law 

meeting you ! 

he shares one or two courses with you

one that’s really early in the morning 

and one that’s later on in the afternoon 

dick is like a magnetic okay

anywhere he goes people are just attracted to him

like literally he will breathe 

but someone call the ambulance there’s a person that’s passed out bc of how beautiful he is

but this is an 8 am class 😃

so there’s no way ur awake enough to notice him

coincidentally he sits next to you one time

and this is the one time

you decide

yeah lemme just fkn sleep is uni even worth it 

dick definitely notices right away but he doesn’t say anything 

he thinks you look so cute passed out on your desk like this 🥺

when the professor signals the end of the class, he watches as people file out and then he just leans over and nudges you slightly 

you nearly punch him bc he scared you ❤️

he just laughs and goes “class is over” 

you just sigh like the guilt starts to hit you and your heart begins to sink

and he sees your disappointed face and just goes 

“i took a lot notes. i can share them w you?”

lifesaver in every single way dick grayson 😻😻😻

you had another class that you had to run to and you were rushing

he was like “dw i’ll just give them to you whenever i see you next” 

and you 🏃🏻‍♀️ outta there

imagine ur surprise when u enter class at 12 pm and he’s there in all his glory 

after the lecture is over, he walks up to you as you’re packing and asks if you want to go to the coffee shop nearby 

to take his notes of course

and you finally register just how handsome he is 

so obviously you say yes wtf

and the rest is history 😼

he asks you out, properly, pretty early on tbh 

so unfazed lmfao 

now you take naps on his shoulder instead of the desk 💞💞💞

soooo into pda 

kisses u when he first sees you

when you’re parting ways

when he feels like it

straight up cuddles w during lectures i’m not even joking 

it’s disgusting how cute you two are 

gets you coffee for all those 8 am classes u have w him hehe

study dates always turn into karaoke sessions somehow don’t even ask lmao

jason todd

english literature 

this is a collective agreement right? 

right

definitely english literature 

i dont even think he wants to go to uni but he’s going to waste time plus this is bruce’s money 😏🤑

your major doesn’t necessarily have to be english literature as well

but you share one class

and my god 

you two disagree on everything

like every little thing

at this point if he says something and you slightly agree internally you’ll still say some opposing shit 

that’s kinda what draws you to him 

at first you genuinely had nothing against him

but then this kind of rivalry developed for no specific reason 

but it was fun

and he was hot

so seeing him get flustered or angry made him even hotter somehow 

but then

but t h e n

you’re not sure if your professor like ships you or something

so you’re assigned a debate topic on one of the books you’d discussed in class/one of the books you’ve read outside, and within each group are the two sides for and against 

not only were you in the same team as jason, but you were on the same side as him

so you had to work with him

the audacity of the professor omg 

but jason needs this course 

and 

well you don’t but it’s too late to back out now 

you two meet in the campus library after deciding on a book with the other two of your team

and 

honestly??? 

you two work so well together 

like insanely well

during the debate you destroyed the other team 

spoiler alert 

doing so well with jason kinda made you like hot and bothered 

seeing him in his zone

sexy <3 

what i mean to say is

you both end up making out in some storage room lmfao 

or hate sex 😏

professor has a phd in matchmaking 🤔😻

i think you two don’t admit you like each other

bc you’re both stubborn as fuck

but eventually you’re literally on his lap on his couch and it just hits you

and you lean back and go

“wanna go out w me” 

and he just shrugs and goes “sure” and pulls you in for more kissing hehe

he’s not v good at the boyfriend thing tbh

you have to chase him around and be like “sir!!! did u forget about me huh!!!”

he doesn’t mean to i promise

he gets all blushy and flustered once he realizes 

only ever into pda if he’s insanely jealous 

will straight up make out w u regardless of where u are or who ur with lmfao 

he’s still getting used to the little intimacies and all 

debates in class are so much more fun now cause he finds it so hot when u get all riled up hehe

that eng lit professor is so happy for you two omg

tim drake

okay i also couldn’t really decide for him

but maybe he’d study something like physics (or maybe computer engineering/computer science) 

idk u have to have a death wish to wanna major in physics so tim’s major it is

i’m not sure how it works for every other uni but my uni requires 6 credits of sciences to graduate 

so let’s say for the sake of this hc u take like just the first level of physics to get 3 credits 

and 

you’re struggling 😃👍🏼

so you like approach your professor with a few questions before the quiz 

but tim is also there

and he kinda makes small talk while you two wait outside the office

and he asks why you’re here

you show him

and he’s like “oh i took this course w the same professor as well, i could help?” 

it’s like an angel had descended from the heavens for you personally 

you take his number and decide to meet up with him after a few hours 

he’s of so much more help than your professor would’ve been, even if ur prof is a really nice and smart person 

and he’s super like

patient with you? 

also he pays for all the coffee and snacks you’re getting after you already get them 

ur like bruh i didnt 

dont pay pls

and he’s like no im loaded let me 😼

swooning <3 

and guess what!! 

you ace the quiz out of some miracle

first thing you do is text him and he congratulates you 

and then

bc ur not blind and tim is so fucking cute

you’re like “can i take u out to thank u” 

tim’s brain stops working but ! 

he does say yes eventually 

he becomes your designated physics tutor + your amazing boyfriend

being with tim is so like

chill

it’s a very relaxed time 

lots of study dates! and cafe dates! all hours of the day whether the sun is up or not 

into pda but to a certain degree 

like yes of course have a kiss pretty baby 

but also it will only be a small peck

any time anyone passes by like common rooms you two will be there snuggling on the couch, one or both of you completely passed out 

damian wayne

business major 100% 

or a bsba econ major, which is basically the business side of economics 

he has to take over his father’s company one day duh 

also i genuinely think damian would excel in this field 

he’s a very keeps to himself kinda guy in uni

like you only ever see him in your common classes and then he just

disappears 

anyways there was this party that everyone was going to, and damian wasn’t planning to

but dick accidentally read some groupchat’s messages and was like are u going

damian went 🏃🏻‍♀️

but dick was like go and try to make friends !!!! 

and dames cant say no to his big bro 🥺 so he goes

stays in a corner on the settings app the entire time

like half an hr in he just leaves and is walking home/back to his dorm when you come like rushing up to him 

you’re zooming 

and then you just latch onto his hand and lean up to press a kiss to his cheek, whispering in his ear “this person’s been following me for like 15 mins just please go along w this” 

he kinda stiffens but when he does notice that there’s a person eyeing you he slips his arm around your waist and just carries on walking

he walks you to your home/dorm and is like

so awkward 

but it’s okay ! ur a people’s person enough for the two of you 

you thank him so much over and over 

and then you’re like 

“can i take you out on a real date?” 

and then he becomes ur real boyfriend hehe

is still super stiff but it’s only bc he’s so hyper aware of how attractive you are

and i’m super positive he doesn’t have that much experience with dating so 

you hold the reigns 

but he’s a great boyfriend all in all tbh 

super attentive, super protective, and so loving 

isn’t into pda especially on college campus but he does like subtle pda

things like linking your pinkies or giving you his hoodie to just parade around campus hehe

end note; i’m sorry if these feel rushed or anything like. i used to be an avid writer for the batboys, but i just haven’t been feeling it lately. i still love to write from them bc i know these boys so well eeeeppp. anyways feel free to request some more!!

[letswrites]

Malibu- C.H

Malibu

Ashton, Calum, Luke, and Michael were dropped on Calum's couch staring at the ceiling. Beer cans all over the carpet, letting some remaining liquid drip from it and make stains on the grey soft fabric, where his socked feet were resting He didn't give a shit about it. They were pretty legless (*for those that don't know: legless is the same as veeeery wasted for us Aussie! :D), and he had bigger problems than some beer puddles over his apartment. Calum grabbed his phone and texted the first person on his dm. she. She had become the first person in everything lately

[2 pm]

Calum: 'wanna hang?'

She replied in seconds

'omw ;)'

He smiled and blocked his phone again letting his head drops on the couch's back. "I am fucking starving." Luke started to complain "yeah, me too. Hey, Cal" he let a groan that should be a "what?" to Michael "can you text your girlfriend and ask her to bring some food?" how the fuck he knew he had texted her. It might be the stupid smile across his stupid face. "she isn't my girlfriend" but he texted her the same way, she gently answered 'like pickles in your burger?' he smiled 'throw away the damn pickles' and let his head rests on the couch's back again and closed his eyes "she will stop at Maccas" "she's fucking awesome" "my best friend" Luke bragged "she should be your girlfriend, Cal" "not your business, Ash..." "Ouch! Easy, man, just saying" he swallowed a "fuck you" and just answered with silence. she should be his girlfriend, but he wasn't sure about what they were. When he heard the knock on the door his heart almost skipped the beats and he stood up faster than he wanted to "and he said that doesn't want anything serious" Ash teased "you like to tease, huh?" "you have no idea" "fuck me, Irwin" "I wish, but she'd be jealous" Calum showed to Ashton his middle finger and they laughed before he opened the door at the same moment she will knock again "hey" "'sup, Cal?" she stood on her tiptoes and pecked his lips, he grinned "come in" "thanks" she walked to Calum's living room and dropped her tired body on the couch, the college will kill her anytime. And soon. But she was there still "hey, boys!" "Hey!" they answered together "I bought some burgers" in the second after she put the bag over the coffee table Michael sat up and grabbed it like he did not eat for days and started to distribute between the other two dead bodies lying next to him. Calum sat down at her side pulling her closer to him and resting one hand on her waist and his head on her shoulder, her hands moving to his hair and caressing it smoothly. "'re you okay?" Luke asked his best friend "I'm good. Just tired" "studying lots?" "more than I can handle" the exams will come soon and the professors have no mercy with the students "they keep dropping mountains and mountains of knowledge in our heads" "you should rest a little" "yeah" "for your luck you have the best friend in the world" "what you have in mind?" "The question is 'what I have in my pocket?'" Luke took off his black, skinny jeans pocket a key. A key. she knew that key "Fucking Lord, what happened to your grandma?" "She is in Italy and the house is in my care" "lucky bastard" "I think we should spend the weekend there. What do you think?" "God, yes!" "What Thelma and Louise are talking about?" "grandma's Malibu house" "I'm in" "me too" "I don't remember to invite you two" "we clearly don't care" he chuckled "what about you, Cal?" "Yeah, it will be nice" he answered uninterested "wow, Calum how you are zippy today" "fuck yourself" Ashton laughed "you are too down today, eat something will make your mood get better" "'m not hungry" "what?! I practically had to beg for the McDonald's guy for a no-pickles burger" "sorry…" "what happened to you?" "Pms" they laughed "I swear to God I'll punch your face Ashton!" she twisted her body turned to his side to give him all her attention he grinned with her act and squeezed her waist "nothing to you worry about" "are you sure?" "yes" he whispered and kissed her quickly on the lips before get up and walk towards the bathroom. Michael groaned in pleasure when he finished his burger "I was starving! Thank you. Luke, hug her for me, I am too far" "it was nothing" Luke wrapped his long arms around her, she snuggled and hummed with the comfort "do you want us to pay you back?" "oh, don't need to, like to take care of you guys" "I have the best friend in the world" "me?" Calum asked when came back to his living room, already feeling jealous. He knew that she was Luke's friend for more time than he and that was Luke who introduced them, but he couldn't help himself "she" "really? I think 'm way better than her" Calum teased her and received in response a socked

foot on his stomach "you will not hurt anyone with these smurf feet" "oh, fuck you!" he grinned and started making circles on her heel trying to forget how much he loves her small feet while she smiled to he "seriously, Cal if you two don't run away to Vegas and get eloped, I will put you guys on my trunk and force you to do it" she giggled, but he rolled his eyes, dropped her foot on the couch and made his way to the bedroom "I think he is mad with you, Ash" "his lost" he shrugged "Alright beautiful people if we gonna leave for the weekend is better we go pack our shits" "yeah, is better" "where we'll meet?" "her place" "why mine?" "Your car is bigger and comfier. And the only one that the engine turns on at the first attempt" "fine, but you drive" "don't need to ask twice" "okay, see you two later" "at 8" "At 8 will be" "later" "later". Michael slammed the door behind him. "what's wrong with Calum?" she asked "bad mood, I guess. Want me to talk with him?" "no, babe, go pack your stuff and I talk with him" "ok" he untied she, giving a kiss on her forehead "see you later, sweetheart" "see u" Luke stood up and yelled to Calum hears him from the bedroom "I'M LEAVING CAL!" "YOU'RE LEAVING LATE IN MY OPINION!" "OH FUCK YOU!" "TRUST ME, I WILL!" Luke laughed and closed the door behind him. She made her way to Calum's bedroom where she already spent a lot of time in and leaned her shoulder on the doorway "hello" "hi" he was splayed at his bed like a starfish "can I join you?" "sure" he shrank himself to the side so she could jump in his bed like a child going to sleep on their parent's bed, what made he smile and giggle "hello again" "hi again" "are you gonna tell me what's wrong?" "no" "uh, alright" they kept the silence for some seconds while she tried to tangle herself on his arms, but he smiled amused and did not help her "asshole" he laughed "oh, come here your fucking kid" he pulled her that was laid next to him, to lay on his chest and a loud groan left his lips before he answers her "you and Luke" he mumbled "what?" "You asked what was wrong: you and Luke" "are you jealous?" "yes" "he is my best friend. He is your best friend" "I know" "I had been sleeping with you" "know that too" and he knew it well "so what is this about?" he flipped his body to be over her and look inside her eyes "you are amazing, he is amazing and you too know each other so well, are so close. And I'm... just me" "it should be a compliment, right?" "I am talking serious" "me too, but, hey you're lucky that I'm more into jerkasses" she teased what made him smile squeezing his eyes, but he opened it again and he felt her hands cupping his face and she staring at his lips, so he pushed down and kissed her deeply, passionated. Soon her hands were sliding down his whole body stopping on the button of his black, ripped jeans ready to take off of him, but Calum stopped the kiss, swallowed, and laid down at her side again what made her feels confused "uh, you... you should go pack your stuff" "what? pack my stuff?" something was wrong, he never refused sex before 'will he break up with me?' she thought "ok" she put herself up and walked towards the door "hey!" "hum?" "need me to drive you home?" "no, like to walk" "oh, okay" "want to come with me?" he wanted to say 'yes' really, wanted to have sex with her (good and sweaty) let her fall sleep on his arms and wake up late to the trip, forget to put clean underwear on the bag and hear the boys make jokes about the reason that they were late, but... "I will take a shower, you know?" "I have a shower in my place" she raised an eyebrow teasing him again, one last try, but he just kept in silence, she nodded "see you later, Cal" and left his apartment ...he couldn't fall in love with her.

*

They met at her place two hours early than they had agreed, she was taking a shower when heard Michael yelling into her living room. "Don't you regret of gave a key to Luke?" "No, like when he is around. Less when I am studying, you know how noisy he can be." now she was on her couch talking with Ashton while the other three was in the kitchen pretending they were barmen "you have a very nice place" "thanks, my grandparents left to me" "I'm sorry" "Oh, it's okay they are alive. They moved to Indiana" "oh, that's nice" "it is" "who wants margaritas???" Luke walked to the living room caring two glasses of margaritas "thank you, Luke" "cheers!" he drank with his best mate when she gasped "you should not drink you'll drive!" "I can drive" "at least someone is behaving. I will love to punish those who don't obey me" she said naughty and Luke laughed loudly he loved when she made sexual jokes "Ash is embarrassed" Michael appeared in the living room yelling (already drunk) with Calum "who is embarrassed?" "Ash. Look he is blushing!" they all laughed "sorry, Ash" "it's fine... Excuse me" Ash made his way to the kitchen and Calum sat next to her where Ashton was before "hey Calum" "what's up Mike?" "You and her will have to control, you know?" "what you're talking about?" "The noise. Not allowed to be loud" Calum laughed "how many margaritas you drank already?" "The margaritas..." He paused and burped 'gross' he continued "the problem is not the margaritas, but the shots" "well, I think that it will not be a problem, Mike" "you are quite loud, babe" she raised an eyebrow and looked to Calum "well, no sex no noise, and you already have made it very clear to me" she stood up and walked to the kitchen to fill her glass and Luke followed her "wow! Calum Hood, what you did wrong?" Ashton dropped at his side very interested in the chaos "I refused fuck with her earlier" "what?! Why, dude?" Ashton and Michael laughed "have my reasons..." he mumbled and blushed a little "ok, they must be good 'cause, bro she is a hottie one and hotties do not are used to be rejected. So she will, naturally, get mad with you" 'he didn't know about her past' Calum thought "Ash... Just be quiet" "alright. Hey Michael did you watched the video I sent you?" Ashton moved the subject leaving Calum only with his thoughts.

*

"What happened, honey?" "He is acting weird" "yeah..." "He didn't want to have sex, didn't want to walk home with me, didn't let me tease him" "don't have a clue why he is doing this" "he was being paranoiac..." "About what?" "About us" she whispered "hum?" "About us" "about us? But don't exist an 'us'" "I know" "Jesus, man... what are you gonna do?" "Get wasted" Luke chuckled "you always have the best ideas" then filled his glass.

*

Was a little after 8 pm when they left: Ashton driving, Calum at his side and the trio in the back: Michael sleeping at the right, Luke in the middle, and she in the left with her head dropped on Luke's shoulder his arm around her while they count how many trucks they see in the road "how many you already saw?" "Eighteen, I guess" "damn it! I'm losing" "what you guys are doing?" Ashton asked interested in what the friends were doing "We are counting lorries" Calum widened his eyes and look at her "lorries?" "Yes" "wtf are lorries?" "Trucks" "are you British now?" "No, but my last boyfriend was" 'oh, yes. He is British' "I miss him. Do you still hang?" Luke used to hang out with them when he broke up with his girlfriend "Yes, I had lunch with him last week" "send hello when you see him again" "okay" "do you still talk with him" "yes, Ash, we are still friends" "you two truly love each other. I mean after all of that you keep supporting him. It's love" Luke always says too much when he is drunk "I think so" but she was pretty wasted too "why did you break up?" "He discovered he is more into boys, you know..." Ashton looked to Calum already regretting what he said about her earlier "I'm sorry" "yeah, it's alright. He is happy that's what matters" "it's very nice of you..." "Well, he would do the same for me" she said with sadness in her voice and Ashton cleaned his throat "Can I sleep, Luke?" "Yes, sure. Come here" he pulled her to be more comfortable on his chest and she fell asleep, soon he did it too. "I think is only us, bro" "yeah, uh, Cal" "hum?" "Honestly, why are you sat here? Why are you not where Luke is? With her laying in your chest, hands playing in her thighs, teasing each other, kissing?" he licked his lips and swallowed dryly, looked back to certify they were sleeping "I'm afraid" "afraid? Is she spanking you?" Calum blushed "she spanks you?" Ashton laughed "it happened once or twice. Sometimes she is bossy in bed. But anyway is not about it" "So why the hell are you refusing sex?" "I am afraid of fall in love with her" "you? falling in love?" "I am falling for her and faster. But I can't" "wow. Why not? You guys are great together" "she isn't mine. And I'm afraid to ask her to be" "you can't live with fear, bro" "yeah…" "honestly, she is awesome and if you don't risk yourself, someone will and you will lose her" "I know" "just keep it in your mind" "I will. Thanks, Ash" "no problems, mate. I should have a talk show" "hell yeah, you totally should" they kept talking about the imaginary Ashton's talk show for the rest of the trip.

*

Was at least midnight when she put on a bikini and jumped on the swimming pool, the boys were making some midnight barbecue, now all drunk, listening to some classic rock, and getting high again. "Beautiful..." "hey" "can we talk?" "Yes! hum, actually I was thinking about the same thing" she was soberer now "good" he dived into the pool and stand next to her "I am sorry about what I said earlier. Sex isn't everything and you're not obligated to do if you're not in the mood. It's just so great that I can't help myself…" she started and he looked into her eyes calmly, taking her hands in his own, she was despaired for an answer and let he knew with her gaze, but he just stepped closer guiding her hands and arms to involve his body, resting his chin on the top of her head and whispered "I want you to be mine" "I will love to be yours" she whispered back and he grinned "sex it's actually really great, isn't it?" "more than it usually is" "so, are you saying that I'm pretty good in bed?" she laughed "you satisfy me, more than the other boys I had slept with" "is it includes Luke?" she smiled "well, I don't remember a lot, but I think so" he grinned at her. Luke and she had already banged a few years ago at some random party, both wasted. Calum knew that and didn't care 'old shit' he thought.

"HEY, LUKE!" "WHAAAATTT?" "SHE SAID SEX WITH ME IS BETTER THAN WITH YOU!" she blushed "Calum!" "damn it!" Luke mumbled more to himself "HEY, CAL!" "HUM?" "SUCK ME!" "I WISH TO, BUT I WILL BE BUSY DOING SOMETHING THAT YOU DIDN'T WHEN HAD THE CHANCE!" Luke laughed out loud and showed to Calum a middle finger. He actually made his bestie come over and over, at the point she thought he had a magic wand instead of a penis, but Calum didn't need to know. Luke winked at her before put his focus on the grill again, she nodded in thanks "did you guys stopped to talk about my orgasms?" "yes, babe" he pulled her legs to his waist and cupped her bum and kissed her, a calm and delicious kiss "want to go to the bedroom and let me put in practice what we were talking about?" "Do you really want to?" "More than you can imagine" "'re you sure?" he whispered at her ear "my handjobs are not like yours" he teased what made her get off his arms and went out of the pool. She pulled his wrist indicating to him to made his way out of the pool to follow her "good night boys" "good night!" Calum smiled at them that was making obscene gestures "yes, we are going to bang and you are not!" she laughed what made the boys stop and focus on another thing. Already in the bedroom Calum was laying in the bed where she said to he waits, she came out of the bathroom and she climbed the mattress to stay at his top "hey, gorgeous" "Cal, if you have to hand job yourself earlier, why you suggested me to leave?" "I was avoiding sex" "why?" "I was avoiding have great moments with you." "Because...?" "I was afraid of fall for you. Don't know about your feelings for me and I am afraid to discover" "I like you a lot" "do you?" "I really do. Wished that you asked me to be yours before" he smiled "I wanted too" "fear makes us do things that we don't want to" "yes" "hope you're not afraid of making me cum" she teased and he squeezed her hips, she kissed he and untied her bikini top "I lie. Don't like you a lots" he widened his eyes "I love you" "love me?" "Yeah. Love everything on you." "It doesn't mean that you love me" "it does" she kissed his neck, his jaw, his lips that tasted like beer "love everything single piece of you. If you puzzle it all together it's you" he smiled "how can you love me?" "ask myself the same every day" he giggled and kissed her again, this time teasing.

She untied the bikini bottom letting him feels how wet she was "fuck" "yes, fuck" they kissed again and again, hot and despaired for each other, he stopped the kiss and she looked at him confused "I'm waiting for an answer" she rolled her eyes but answered he the same way "love you because it's you" he smiled and for the first time let himself fall for her "love you too" he mumbled and she continued the kiss before he took off his swimming short and gave to her want she wanted, what they wanted, 'cause now was not she, was not he, but they.

[ptersparkers]

hell froze over

summary: it’s a thursday afternoon and caliban’s taken you by surprise when he teleports to earth and asks you out on a date. not that you’d ever say no.

warnings: mentions of religion and typos, probably.

a/n: lol i can hear my parents sh*uting so i’m gonna write instead because!! we love distractions!! 

add yourself to my taglist!

Sabrina Spellman swore that Hell would have to freeze over the second she saw Caliban get “soft” and care for mortals.

That day was today. 

Greendale, being the small town that it was, housed many local favorites which included Dr. Cerberus’ diner, also dubbed as the local hangout of the Fright Club. There wasn’t much to say about the whole situation about who was running Hell with Sabrina’s clone down under and the Sabrina you knew alive and well, talking your ear off about Nick this, Harvey that, and Caliban this and that. 

If you were being completely honest, you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

So when Caliban teleported back up to Earth’s surface and caught you off guard leaving school grounds, you let out the loudest yell imaginable and dropped all of the books and stray pieces of paper you were carrying. 

“Jesus Christ,” you said, clutching your heart. You bent down and started to pick up what you had dropped. 

Caliban chuckled. “Not quite. Doubt he’s ever going to come to Earth.” 

You didn’t pay much attention to his comment in favor of gathering everything that was on the concrete and Caliban frowned, bending down to help you pick up some notebooks that were closer to him than you. When you finally stood up, you moved strange of hair out from your face and huffed, annoyed. 

“If you’re going to scare me, at least do it where people won’t see because I’m pretty sure I’ve embarrassed myself enough for this entire school year.” The corner of Caliban’s mouth lifted into a smirk when he saw you try to reassure your schoolmates and tugged on your backpack strap to get your attention.

“It’s a Thursday afternoon,” he stated. 

“Yes?”

“Do you have any plans?”

You were taken off guard. 

“What are you planning?” you asked with a raised brow. 

“Nothing bad,” he promised. “Since Sabrina number two is down in Hell dealing with things for the weekend, I figured why not come up here and spend the day with my favorite mortal.” You laughed at the sentiment and fixed your backpack to keep the straps from falling. 

“Well, I’m headed to the diner to study for a little bit before I head to cheerleading practice,” you explained. “I have about two hours before I have to be there so might as well eat and study. You know, kill two birds with one stone.” 

“Mind if I join you?” he asked. 

“You want to watch me study for two hours? It’a gonna be kind of boring,” you explained. 

“Think of me as your study-buddy.”

“Where did you even learn that phrase?”

“Sabrina’s rubbing off on me,” Caliban said with a low laugh. He gestured away from you. “Lead the way.” 

The diner wasn’t too packed when you arrived and you chose a table big enough to let you put your laptop and notebooks on while having a plate of food beside you. Your water bottle sat proudly in Caliban’s hands as he looked at the various stickers stuck to it. 

“This is quite peculiar,” he said.

“It’s a bunch of memories,” you explained. “This one’s from the camp grounds Harvey and I used to go to when we were younger. The orange one is from when Sabrina and I first became friends and that red one is the first sticker I saw with the world ‘Hell’ on it after coming back from, you know, Hell.” 

Caliban smiled at that one. “You’re odd.” 

You tilted your head and chuckled, not knowing how to respond to such a comment. You turned your attention to the screen in front of you, reading online articles assigned to you for your AP World History class. 

“What is ‘AP’?” Caliban asked, looking at the textbook that sat beside your computer. 

“It stands for advanced placement. It’s basically a college course for high schoolers so we don’t have to take it when we get to college and it gives us school credit.” 

“Sounds complicated.”

“It is,” you said, clicking out of the article you had finished taking notes on. “I think this while ‘Hell’ ordeal set me back because I haven’t been studying as much as I used to. At the end of the school year, everyone who takes AP classes has the chance to take a test that determines a score, which determines college credit.”

“You humans are so overachieving,” he commented, stealing a fry from your plate. “But I suppose being knowledgable isn’t bad.”

“Sometimes I feel like I put too much pressure on myself,” you confessed, your gaze back on the man sitting in front of you. “Like, does this really matter? Whether I ace or fail my AP tests won’t matter in the long run and it’s not like I can avoid going to Heaven or Hell.”

Caliban quirked an eyebrow, realizing that discovering the secrets of witches, Hell, and Heaven had left you in a turmoil that no one bothered to discuss. Sabrina was a witch and had accepted her fate on her sixteenth birthday. As for the other three mortals, they had some sort of lineage in magic that offered them solace. You did not. 

“Going to Hell really messed with you, didn’t it?” You didn’t want to say anything in fear of offending Caliban. When he wasn’t trying to steal the throne from Sabrina, he was a decent person, you thought. 

“Um,” you said, pausing, “I think it made me realize some things. I think those things are making me confused about the next step in my life and if what I’m doing is worth finishing.” 

Caliban looked at you and the various books, notebooks, and writing utensils sprawled out on the table. He saw your color-coded planner, binders that kept your articles and paperwork in place, and the dark tint underneath your eyes. That was all he needed to know. 

“I think you’re on the right path. From the looks of it,” he said, gesturing to the messy table in front of you, “you are so passionate and dedicated about learning and doing something with your life. Not many people can say the same. You have the advantage of knowing Hell exists and the second layer to humanity while others wonder about religion and faith. Use it to your advantage.”

“If I hear this correctly, it seems like you don’t want me to give up.” 

“I don’t,” he said, almost too quickly. “Your ambition to do well on your tests resembles my quest to become King of Hell. As I have found out another way to rule Hell alongside Sabrina, I think you’re going to find out what you’re meant to do in life.” 

“You’re starting to sound like someone who believes in God.” 

He chuckled. “God and angels exist. You know that now. I suppose you’ll have to continue praying to find out what He has in store for you.” 

You sat there, dumbfounded. It wasn’t too long ago that Caliban had been in the grand room, cursing angels and Heaven above out of frustration and anger. You and Sabrina had been waiting for him to finish throwing his tantrum before she could engage in business with him, so hearing Caliban talk about having faith in something that even he didn’t believe him gave you a glimmer of motivation. 

“I don’t even know what to say,” you said softly, fiddling with a pen. 

“Go out with me,” Caliban said. “To that drive in theater across town. You mentioned once that you like to go there when you’re stressed. We could forget about Heaven and Hell for one night.” 

“Okay,” you said quietly, earning a gigantic grin from Caliban.

As you were about to pack up your belongings, you heard a “Oh for Satan’s sake” from behind you and turned to see Sabrina rolling her eyes, already dressed in her cheer uniform. 

“Caliban, my clone and I are going to beat your ass if you hurt Y/N in any way,” she said in a sickly sweet tone. Caliban nodded, heading the message without much argument. You packed up your belongings and ran to use the restroom, leaving the two mystical beings alone. 

“I really like her,” Caliban said after a brief pause. “And I know you don’t agree wholeheartedly but I intend to prove otherwise.” 

“Y/N’s smart and won’t take anything from a boy if she’s not comfortable with it,” said Sabrina. “All I’m saying is you should watch you back should you ever hurt her in any way because it’s not just the Fright Club that’s gonna come after you.” 

Caliban gulped and watched as you emerged, putting your hair in a low bun before walking outside to go to cheerleading practice. 

“How does tomorrow night sound?” Caliban asked before you entered Harvey’s truck.

“Pick me up at six,” you said, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. “And this time, please don’t teleport and scare me.” 

The boy made of clay laughed and promised not to, watching as you climbed into the truck and waved goodbye. He saw Sabrina give him an all-knowing look, but he was determined to befriend your friends if it was the last thing he did. 

Hell, he had an entire lifetime to get to know you. 

***

BONUS:

“Why are you looking at me like that?” you asked as Harvey and Sabrina looked at you. The keys were in the engine but Harvey didn’t bother moving, opting to look between you and the spot where Caliban had teleported to Hell. 

“I know he’s kind of a good guy now, but are you serious?” Harvey asked. 

“What?” you asked, provoking him. “Am I not allowed to be in relationships like you two?”

“I’m just surprised, is all,” said Sabrina. “I mean, you did hate him when we first met him.”

“Absolutely nobody messes with my best friend,” you said. “You two, well, the other you, is ruling with him peacefully.”

“What is he tries to pull a trick?” Harvey asked. 

You had to admit, that was a fair concern. 

“I don’t think it’ll come to that, but if it does, there’s no way in Hell, literally, I’m choosing a boy over my best friends. Who, by the way, I’ve been friends longer with.” 

Harvey seemed to like this answer and started the engine, driving back to the school grounds with you in between him and Sabrina. 

“I guess Hell really did freeze over.” 

***

taglist: 

@princessdolan @ashyramblings-ficrecs. 

[taleofharrison]

We can try | Luke Hemmings

Summary: Reader realizes she might be wrong about the idea he had about Luke. (College!AU)

Warnings: none really

Requested: Idea given by @girl-toxxic​

Word count: 1559

A/N: not sure if this is what you wanted but I like the way it. Also I’m crying over superbloom it was pure art and it was beautiful also Luke studies engineering as a major because I saw on twitter or here don’t remeber exactly that he was good at math and I think engineering involves a lot of math so yeah but whatever enjoy.

MASTERLIST HERE 

It had been a long month you had to change college because your dad got another job in other state and your family wanted you close to them changing school wasn’t hard since you had great grades it’s not that you were a the typical nerd cliché who avoided parties and everything that was fun you just had your priorities clear and partying wasn’t on the top of the list. It was hard to believe but you found a perfect balance between college fun and your studies.

You knew that adjusting to new teachers, new classmates and new buildings would be hard you felt nervous and anxious luckily on your first week you met Ashton who happened to share a class with you he even took you to the building where the class would take place he was nice and kind to you so when he told you he was part of a fraternity surprised a lot.

Your feelings had been hurt badly by a boy who belonged to one he was sweet at the beginning then his true colors showed and the relationship quickly became toxic and though you’d denied it, he was one of the reasons you agreed to transfer plus studying in California didn’t sound like a bad idea.

“Would you like to come to a party this Friday?” Ashton asked out of the blue as you two walked outside the classroom “my fraternity is organizing it”

“A party? At your frat house?” you questioned again “I don’t think that’s a good idea I have to study-”

“Don’t try to play the cliché nerd card here” he cut you off “I’ve seen you partying and honestly I don’t how you keep your grades”

“As flattered as I am by that” you smiled “I try to not hang out around frat boys anymore you’re an exception”

“Just because an asshole dude broke your heart it doesn’t mean all of us are like that” he said “Come on it’s gonna be fun bring a friend or two if you want and my friends are nice”

“Fine I trust you” you sighed in defeat. “I’ll be there”

“Awesome!” he giggled “guess I’ll see you there”

The day of the party came and you thought on making up an excuse not to go like you were sick or something but you just couldn’t bail on Ash he looked so happy when you agreed and he was one of your best friends. So, you decided to put on a little make up and just have fun.

When you got to the party Ashton rushed to hug you a red solo cup filled with what you thought was some kind of spiced punch he guided you through the crowd to meet his best friends.

“This is Michael” he pointed at the DJ and he just nodded in your direction “and this is Calum but I’m sure you’ve seen play football he’s the team captain”

Calum hugged like if you had been friends for a long time “Ashton talks a lot about you is great to finally meet you”

Aston chuckled at his friend’s behavior “Mind if I leave you alone? I have to look for someone”

“Not at all” you smiled “I think I’m going to get a drink”

You crossed the dancefloor to get your drink you recognized a guy there dancing, you’ve seen him around, he was on the football team with Calum you’ve never talked to him you only knew his last name was you knew who he was, you knew about his reputation he was really popular among the girls on the campus which only made you surer that you had avoid him.

“Hi” Luke spoke to you making you turn to face him “I’ve never seen you in my frat parties”

“Observant” you rolled your eyes “I’m just here for a friend”

“And would you like to go I don’t know somewhere a little bit more private?”

You were more than ready to turn down his offer when Ashton’s voice interrupted your encounter with Luke.

“Awesome now you’ve met all my friends” Ashton exclaimed wrapping around your shoulders.

“He’s your friend?” you questioned with wide eyes.

“Yeah and one of my best friends I must say” he said nonchalantly “now we can all hang out together”

Ashton left you alone once again this time with Luke “So you’re the famous Y/N Ashton always talks about…guess I’ll see you around” he chuckled once again.

Weeks have passed since the party and your friendship with Ash and his friends, however you had a wall you didn’t really put that much effort on getting to know Luke which hurt him he wanted to get to know you too, you seemed to be a pretty cool girl from what he could get.

A groan left Luke’s mouth once again “I can’t any of this mate” he complained to Calum.

“Then what did you choose to study engineering?” Calum asked clearly amused by his friend’s frustration.

“I don’t know it sounded like fun when I started” he answered “what am I gonna do? The finals begin in a month and I’m not getting any of this calculus shit”

“I can ask Y/N to help you” Ashton shrugged “she’s pretty good at this”

“Do you think she will?” he asked “she doesn’t seem to like that much”

“She’ll do it if I ask her” Ashton assured “and I know she even helps the classmates she dislikes; she likes to help”

“I guess that could work” Luke sighed “thanks mate”

Luke was the first on to admit that maybe he didn’t give a first good impression at the party plus people often talk about him in the hallways but he was heartbroken and he thought that maybe a bunch of girls and parties might help him out but he was wrong he realized that now, he realized how unhealthy it was and he had been trying to be and feel better.

You told Ashton you could start classes with Luke the next day, you wanted to make the most of this and to end with this quickly as time went by you found yourself getting to know Luke and you’d denied but you were thinking that maybe you should’ve been friends with him since the start. He even learned your coffee order so every time you met up to study, he already had yours.

“Why?” he asked out of the blue one day.

“Why what?” you questioned frowning not following what he meant to say.

“You always hang out with my friends, but you just try to avoid me or ignore me” Luke explained “my question is why, you seem to hate”

“I know you Luke, don’t wanna get hurt”

“You barely talk to me how can you say you know me?” Luke scoffed.

“You are the kind of guy who’s sweet and charming but at the end of the day girls are just another game for you to play”

“I get it now” Luke said connecting the dots together “some boy broke your heart and now you think I’m like your ex”

“Oh, and you aren’t?” you retorted.

Luke abruptly closed his book and picked up his stuff getting up from the table.

“What do you think you’re doing?” you demanded “Luke we haven’t finished”

“Oh, I think we have” he replied “You don’t know the first thing about me”

“Luke your exam is in a week and we still have to review-“

“Forget about it” he interrupted you “I think I can make it on my own thank you”

Needless to say Luke didn’t show up to the rest of your study sessions it disappointed and broke your heart just a little maybe you were wrong, maybe you shouldn’t have said those things, maybe you misjudged him.

A week after the finals Luke came to your apartment you were pretty shocked when you saw him with your coffee order in hand, but you let him in anyways.

“I brought you this” he said giving you the coffee “I hope you haven’t changed your usual order”

“It’s perfect” you smiled “What are you doing here?”

“I haven’t seen you around” he shrugged “which is weird since you’re always with my mates and I wanted to tell you that I got 80% in my calculus final and I’m sure it could’ve been higher if we had kept studying so thank you for that couldn’t have done it without you”

“It was nothing” you said “I like to help”

“I also want to say I’m sorry” he said “I was rude to you and you just wanted to help and-“

“I should be the one apologizing” you interrupted him “I misjudged you and I should’ve gotten to know you more I shouldn’t have assumed you were like my ex”

“In your defense I didn’t give you good first impression at that party” he said “you were heartbroken you just wanted to protect your heart, I get it been there”

You nodded looking down.

“Let me make it up to you” he offered “let me take you celebrate I didn’t fail calculus because of you let’s get a drink”

“As in a date maybe?” you teased.

“If you want it to be a date…”

“I’d like it to be date” you said making you both smile.

[thescorpioracer]

Sen Çal Kapımı 1 - Episode Recap

To be honest, this series of posts is mostly going to be a fashion roast. But DISCLAIMER! I really do love this show and Turkish TV in general, it’s just my preferred mode of media analysis is to pick things apart. 😂And I need everyone to know that I am very pro-women, and believe people should be able to dress how they want and not be judged for it or be looked down upon for it. But oh my god this wardrobe department/costumer needs to be STOPPED. I also have zero credentials to be talking about fashion, but will that stop me?

I’m going to make these posts assuming you’ve watched the show, and just comment on whatever comes up. There will be spoilers. Let’s go!

We start off with a voiceover from Eda Yıldız, an A+ romcom trope. (It wasn’t until my rewatch that I remembered that Eda used to do VOs at random intervals, and I’m kind of glad she stopped tbh.) She is a strong woman who wants to get her education and become a landscape architect/designer. She was all set to do that until- dun dun dun! - Serkan Bolat destroyed everything. 

Check out that dart board of a man (and this is the only time we see that photo there). And these outfits are probably the most normal and reasonable clothes she wears in the show. She’s a beautiful young woman, who was a college student, and now works outdoors as a florist. 10/10 outfit. 

Of course that transitions us into an epic slomo of Serkan exiting his private jet. He of course begins to berate his assistant on the phone in a way a friend described as reminiscent of The Devil Wears Prada.

@teamnick​​‘s commentary back when she first started the show. 

Serkan returns to his office for the first time in 2 months after working on business deals in London. Chaos ensues: Miranda Priestly is baaaaaaack.

See... here we have some good fashion choices! We meet the girls for the first time, while they try to sneak off to their graduation without making Eda feel bad that she won’t be receiving her diploma. Melek “Melo” is dressed in a sweet dress with a bold, romantic color, which captures her personality perfectly. Ceren, the rich daughter from a family of lawyers, looks a bit more high-fashion. The dress is short but it has long sleeves and no cleavage so it works out to be chic and elegant. Fifi is unapologetically herself with her full-black, punk wardrobe. Eda is again dressed in a pretty, but casual outfit. Nicely put together for her lower-middle-class lifestyle and her job as a florist.

Enter: the plot device to get our protagonists together. Serkan’s face says it all.

We are then introduced to the main couple’s respective cars. Serkan has his 2020 BMW (though the show blocks out the copyrighted branding) while Eda’s beat up SUV is clearly unreliable. What’s that? Another plot device being introduced? I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Also, I just noticed this, but for someone as uptight as Serkan, I’m surprised at how fun his suit jacket lining is. If I’m not mistaken the pattern is of a bunch of rainbow fish. #Snazzy, but they seem out of character?

Plot highlights:

Eda learns she can come back to school and finish her final year, but she’s lost her scholarship and will have to pay. She can’t.

Serkan gives his talk at the graduation (?)-- Is his talk just for architecture students? If so, why are Ceren, Fifi, and Melo there? We’ll never know. I know, I know... it’s all for the ~plot~

Eda calls Serkan out in front of everyone for taking away the scholarship that she earned from his company, Art Life. He is confused but unrepentant. She refuses to tell him her name.

She tries to deface his car with lipstick after keying the side (we never hear about the damage to his car after that). He catches her and wants to call the police, so she impulsively handcuffs them together with the plot devices from Selin’s wedding invitation sitting on his passenger seat.

They then have to go to Serkan’s urgent business meeting with an out-of-town client. Eda drives while they’re handcuffed together. Bickering ensues.

What is this? Foreshadowing? Symbolism?? Eda’s last name “Yıldız” is the Turkish word for “star” so... file that away for later.

One of my favorite parts about watching Turkish dramas is the experience of trying to decipher the fan translations. Add to the fact that Turkish only has 1 pronoun *chef’s kiss* 

Eda refuses to take the elevator to the 15th floor (we’ll learn about her claustrophobia later). Serkan is equally as stubborn, saying she owes  him for screwing up his day. But he has met his match in Eda with regards to stubbornness. They take the stairs.

More highlights:

First instance of fake dating - they need to hide the handcuffs from his client so Eda pretends she’s his girlfriend and a fellow investor.

The girls track Eda’s phone to the hotel and try to find her by asking around the premises. 

Eda charms the client into selling his land to Serkan.

We learn that Serkan is allergic to strawberries and has a lot of health anxiety. He’s a very tightly wound person.

Serkan says “Mashallah,” translator hears 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Engin brings way too many people to open the handcuffs and chaos ensues.

I feel like nothing can do justice to the comedy of 58:45 to 1:00:00 with Fifi using a bobby pin as a lock pick. The dramatic editing is 👌🏼

Leyla gets fired for somehow causing this drama??? And she is so happy to leave that stressful workplace omg, we don’t deserve her 🥺

Serkan and Eda go their separate ways, Eda prepared to never see her enemy again, but of course her phone and purse are still in his car so she has to go to his office at Art Life and confront him again.

Serkan has found out that Whoops, Art Life did cancel the study abroad scholarships to cut costs, but his CFO did it without telling him. And Serkan is pissed, but I think mainly about the fact that Eda did have some (SOME) grounds for yelling at him in public.

Leyla then explains the nonsensical reasoning behind her being fired-but-not-fired and still working. (Spoiler alert: she never goes anywhere and she is my favorite side character to this day).

Eda: “How can I piss Serkan off?” Leyla: “Find a mistake he’s made and he will fixate on it forever. But you won’t find anything.” Eda: “Hold my beer.”

Eda walks into Serkan’s office and his meeting. She gets her purse back and they fight about him not being willing to apologize for ruining her life and education. He refuses and says she owes him an apology for embarrassing him in public (no, dude).

He wants to give her back the scholarship and make it all go away but she rightly tells him that it won’t fix her broken pride from begging the company and her university for a second chance. But somehow her calling him a heartless “Robot” is what gets to him???? And he short-circuits. Eda walks out triumphant. 

~dRaMa!~

MEANWHILE

Melo, as well as being a perfume sales girl, also works as a flight attendant and wants Eda to cover her shift (we’ll get into how that doesn’t make sense in a minute) 

Eda says no, she’s going to meet her boyfriend, Cenk, who she hasn’t seen in months and has just returned from Italy.

Enter: Selin. Serkan’s ex who he dumped a while ago and is now engaged to the heir of a hotel empire. Serkan doesn’t like this. The two of them grew up together and are set to each inherit 50% of the holding company that Serkan’s father currently runs.

Right away Selin serves us with a gender reveal level color scheme.  Personally not a fan. They confirm that Serkan is coming to her engagement party tomorrow.

Meanwhile Eda  meets up with Cenk. Her outfit is still reasonable and cute for her character. He looks mildly like a hobo and doesn’t seem to have anything going for him (I know he’s a throwaway character but the two of them really don’t have anything in common).

This creeper keeps staring at them, but Cenk tries to explain it away and says he’s busy and can’t meet her again until the day after tomorrow. Eda is disappointed but accepts this. Creeper girl remains and remains a red flag to viewers, but apparently not to Eda.

Cut to later that evening, and of course our broody main man enjoys astronomy in his free time (???) idk what he’s charting and to what purpose but okay? 

Eda finds a mini first aid kit in her purse that Serkan put there before returning it. Queue montage of them treating their respective wrists for handcuff-related injuries. #couplegoals

Of course we also needed a sepia-toned flashback to earlier that day when the handcuffs contrived their faces to get too close together. #romance

Finallyyyyyyy it’s morning again and a new day.

Since Eda can’t see Cenk (good, he’s so boring), she agrees to fill in as a flight attendant for Melo, who’s side job is for a private plane company.

Now. This should not be a thing. Eda was in college to be a landscape architect and now works as a florist for her aunt... Where has she learned any relevant skills to work as a flight attendant?? Presumably nowhere. And I really don’t think a private plane company would be so easygoing about just having a random person fill in to cover for her friend? 

But does this show care about that? What do you think...

Also, instead of the standard white shirt, black skirt uniform requirements, the girls decide that this skimpy dress and heels is fine? Hmmm

Also lol @ Melo for assuming that the client who wants jasmine tea and fruit salad is probably a woman. And her telling Eda that the PRIVATE JET COMPANY would in fact have its own tea was very random and unnecessary. 

Back at the Bolat house compound, we meet the parents: Aydan and Alptekin. We’ll see them again later. Selin’s engagement party is today. 

Meanwhile Eda is just.... being a flight attendant, I guess??? And who could possibly be the passenger she has to take care of? Take a wild guess. Of course it’s Serkan Bolat.

And of course that tiny dress (THAT ALSO HAS A LEG SLIT?? WHY?? I really don’t need to see her vagina) looks very practical and professional... not! (Hande Erçel is a gorgeous human, and the dress looks good on her, don’t get me wrong. BUT THIS IS SITUATIONALLY INCORRECT ATTIRE). Also him just folding his vest and then social distancing from it... K? 😂

Eda panics and doesn’t want Serkan to see her and runs away back to her seat pod thing - Serkan takes issue with his fruit salad for ~plot reasons~ (EDIT: I’ve been informed that it’s because there was a strawberry in his fruit salad and since he’s allergic, of course it needed to be fixed. Why doesn’t the plane have a note of that??) and comes back to find this mystery flight attendant.

Eda is very stressed out about this encounter and is also starting to have a panic attack because, surprise, she’s also claustrophobic. 

After Serkan calms her down, they have a cute/civil conversation for the rest of the flight.

When they land, Eda realizes they’re on an island 2h45min away from Istanbul and she isn’t sure what to do with herself (How did she not already know where they were going, as the FLIGHT ATTENDANT??? So may red flags with this private jet company).

Serkan convinces Eda to come with him and she can hang out at the beach while he’s at Selin’s engagement party.

At the engagement party we finally meet Selin’s fiancé Ferit. He’s sweet and non-threatening and clearly insecure about Serkan being Selin’s ex.

This dress/skirt outfit Selin is wearing isn’t terrible, but it doesn’t scream rich socialite to me. Anything with feathers seems... a bit tacky/too showy? Like someone pretending to be rich? Idk, this outfit isn’t one I’m going to really take a stand on.

Does this engagement party warrant being a 2h45 min flight away? No. They try to explain it away as the couple wanting to have something small and private, even though they also invite the press?? But okay whatever, as long as Serkan and Eda cross paths again, I suppose.

Kaan Karadağ has been mentioned a couple times in passing, but now we finally meet our “villain.” Ferit’s friend, and Serkan & Selin’s childhood acquaintance, who has it out for Serkan bc he somehow bankrupted Kaan’s dad? Idk and I don’t really care but tl;dr they’re enemies. 

Another thing I love about Turkish dramas is the censoring. Like, they’ll allow alcohol to be on screen, but they won’t say the word and they’ll just blur out the bottle and any liquid that we’d assume is alcoholic 😂

In the evening, Serkan is tired and wants to leave and Ferit snidely jokes about how Serkan is too picky to have a fiancé of his own. Serkan flashes back to 1 entire day ago when he and Eda pretended to be dating at his business meeting, and says that actually he is engaged to someone and then peaces out.

Serkan finds Eda on the beach, and they are preparing to leave when a crowd of people (Selin, Ferit, and Kaan mainly), arrive to get a peek at Serkan’s new “fiancé.” Eda very reluctantly plays along (good thing she has that unnecessarily sexy “work” dress to help her look the part) and Serkan notices that for the first time ever, Selin is jealous of another woman. #drama

After they finally escape the crowd, Serkan makes an annoyed Eda an offer: Pretend to be his fiancé for the 2 months leading up to Selin’s wedding so he can get them to break up and prevent Ferit marrying into the company. In return, he will pay all the fees to help her complete her last year of studies in Italy.

Eda refuses, stating that she doesn’t want anything from him, and besides she has a boyfriend (Sure Jan; Cenk is such a joke). They have it out and then fly back to Istanbul. But of course the gossips at the engagement have spread the news of Serkan’s new woman so the paparazzi corner them at the airport when they land. 

So glad that we got to see this random mechanic find out the news (???)

They escape the cameras and Serkan takes her home, saying that Art Life has a press conference tomorrow, and she should come so he can save face and tell everyone that she was his assistant accompanying him for work to the party. Eda agrees. 

It should also be mentioned that Serkan still doesn’t know her name at this point?? She refused to tell him and Engin still hasn’t sent him the names of the scholarship candidates so it’s a bit miraculous that their relationship was at all believable.

The next day, Cenk wants to meet but Eda has to go to the press conference. The girls come too for whatever reason, and Melo is convinced that Cenk wants to propose. Eda just lets that fantasy take hold (why tho?), and Cenk shows up unexpectedly right before the press conference and takes Eda into the nearby hotel’s cafe so they can talk.

Eda seems ready for a proposal (they haven’t seen each other or really communicated in months??) but Cenk wants to break up. Eda is shocked (???) but then Cenk mentions that he has a new girlfriend from Italy that he adores, and oh by the way, it’s the creepy girl from the other night who also happens to be here right now?

Okay fine, I guess??? Cenk: “She’s doesn’t speak Turkish” Girlfriend: *clearly a Turkish actress*

Eda is upset that he brought his jealous girlfriend with him to break up with her and says something about how actually, she’s seeing Serkan Bolat now (maybe it’s just me being someone who doesn’t follow tabloids, but are business people really that popular in every day society where everyone knows who they are?). Cenk laughs at Eda, saying that everyone wants to be with Serkan Bolat, and that she’s bluffing.

Eda makes an impulsive decision, and walks away, over to where Serkan has started the press conference. And seals their fate as fake dating in the public eye.

Queue confetti. No really.

And there we have it. That’s the episode!

In all seriousness, it’s a pretty great pilot, especially for a romcom. It hits all the right beats, includes enough tropes, and tells us a lot about what we should expect in the episodes going forward. And no matter how much I make fun of it, I really do enjoy this show! It’s been such a nice distraction from Current Events. I’ve spent a lot of time watching these episodes just saying “oh my god” out loud to myself as I watch all of the cute/romantic gestures that give me a lot of second hand embarrassment (I forget that PDA makes me kinda uncomfortable 😂).

There wasn’t actually that much terrible fashion in this episode, which I didn’t notice until my rewatch. If I continue with this series of posts, I’m hoping they’ll end up being less plot-centric, and more about the situationally inappropriate outfits and strange subtitling choices. 

See you next time? 

[shih-coulda-had-it]

Just i m a g i n e ; Nana and Gran Torino know the friends / almost boyfriends of Toshi and Torino was like; "go away of that blond idiot or I'm going to hit them without mercy" while Nana is; "Sora, let them, are childrens. But if they hurt m’lil Toshi, I'll also hit them without mercy :) ". The boys, (Dave, Sir, Tsukauchi and Aizawa), are scared of the threats of Toshi's parents and he does not realize that his parents have threatened his almost boyfriends. I think that would happen 👀.

Oh, I like where your head’s at. This is technically the beginning of either a recurring arc/a long one-shot in the NanaLives!AU that’s been building as tumblr snippets.

*Note: Sorahiko did not join Nana and Toshinori in the States for several months. He was cleaning up their tracks/records. On a last-second impulse, he asks the Commission to retrieve Kotarou. Kotarou’s reunion is a whole drama of its own, but the end-result is that Kotarou (1) gets therapy (2) gets a whole year off school! (3) gets a whole family!!!

//

Neither Nana nor Sorahiko are blindsided by the first boy Toshinori brings home. They’re trying not to invalidate All Might’s work by playing chaperone, but they do pay attention to the news. And the news is captivated by the presence of an exceptionally handsome young foreigner popping up to take care of problems.

Problems like the explosion at the local college laboratory.

“Okaa-san,” says Kotarou, enraptured by disaster, “Toshi-nii’s shirt got burned off.”

“He doesn’t know he’s got a camera trained on him,” observes Nana.

“Figures,” Sorahiko says darkly. He’s sitting at the couch, financial paperwork spread out on the coffee table. Kotarou is cross-legged, ostensibly keeping Sorahiko company and doing his English handwriting exercises. Nana had been busy with laundry, but she poked her head in at the first excited cry. “All this work to stay under the radar, and the brat immediately gets trapped in the spotlight.”

“No one will recognize him.” Goodness knows Nana hadn’t, the first time Toshinori tapped into One for All and puffed up.

“Who’s he talking to?”

“He’s talking to somebody?” Sorahiko’s head snaps up at Kotarou’s innocent inquiry, and Nana doesn’t need to see his face to know that he’s studying the grainy screen, eyes narrowed in calculation.

“He looks nice,” she tries. The two boys on-screen are laughing together, bright-eyed and grinning. Toshinori’s new friend is totally staring at Toshinori’s chest.

“Looks like a sycophant,” he growls.

She rolls her eyes. “Toshinori just saved him from a burning building. Gratitude and admiration, along with some heart-eyes, aren’t out of the norm.”

“Hn.”

“What’s a sycophant,” Kotarou says, twisting around when the camera finally cuts away to a pair of commentators. He peers at Sorahiko’s papers like he can understand not only English, but also Sorahiko’s chicken-scratch handwriting.

Long-sufferingly, Sorahiko answers, “A sycophant is a person who always says yes to another person.”

“Oh.” Kotarou dwells on this. “Like you with okaa-san.”

There’s a beat of silence. The first giggle escapes Nana’s valiant grasp, and then she’s leaning on the wall, overtaken by them. Kotarou looks pleased; Sorahiko starts to sputter and defend himself.

Several hours later, Toshinori’s boisterous voice announces, “I’m home!”

“Welcome back,” Nana calls out from the kitchen. Over the course of a few months, her cooking repertoire has expanded to include boxed yellow curry. It bubbles ominously in the deep pan, set over a low heat. “Watch out in the living room, I think Sorahiko’s still napping with Kotarou.”

“Ah.” Nana hears a murmur. Then the sound of an unfamiliar voice. Involuntarily, she tenses and activates Float, her world narrowing down to the question: who is that. Her hands curl into fists, scarred and white-knuckled. She navigates the hallway to the front door and checks the mirror--oh.

Float deactivates. Nana briskly re-ties her hair, shakes out the adrenaline still thrumming in her hands, and steps out into the open with a smile.

“Who’s this?” she asks pleasantly.

Toshinori hasn’t stopped using One for All, but he’s picked up a white “I <3 LA” shirt. While he can stay puffed up for as long as he wants, there’s an unspoken rule to leave All Might in the streets. Thankfully, Nana thinks, Kotarou understands the secrecy regarding Toshinori’s Quirk.

The reason why Toshinori is still All Might finishes toeing off his sneakers. He’s tall, slender, and perceptibly nervous. When he executes a short bow, his shoulder-length hair moves with him.

“Hello,” Toshinori’s friend (boyfriend? Nana wonders, a little alarmed at the thought, because Toshinori can only have known him for four hours, max, and now Toshinori has brought him here, perhaps to meet the family) says in awkward Japanese. “I am David Shield. It is nice to meet you.”

“I understand English,” she says, not unkindly. “Your accent is very good, though.”

Shield exhales in relief. “I wanted to try,” he says, sheepish. “I’ve taken classes, but it’s just--difficult.”

“You need a willing language partner,” Nana agrees. “Call me Shimura-san, David. Are you here for dinner?”

“If it’s no problem.”

“Oshishou,” says Toshinori happily, “Dave’s offered to build me a sturdier suit! I thought the least we could do is dinner, right?”

Then, Kotarou comes barreling down the hallway, only to come to a reeling halt at the sight of someone new. He ducks back behind Nana’s legs, wary of strangers. She reaches back to ruffle his hair, and notes that David looks similarly taken aback.

Dave, however, is apparently going to tailor a new suit for Toshinori. Nana studies the young man and his fine-boned hands--an engineer? a researcher?--and decides that she needs Sorahiko to take a second look.

“This is Kotarou, my son.” Nana smiles reassuringly. “And of course. A friend of Toshinori’s is always welcome. Take your time, boys. It’s chicken curry tonight.”

She retreats back to the kitchen, Kotarou in tow.

“Are you fixing my cooking?” she gasps, catching Sorahiko in the midst of seasoning the pan’s contents. He doesn’t even flinch, and tosses in another pinch of black pepper.

“Little bland. Overall, tastes like the box promised. Good job on not burning it.”

Nana scowls. “This is because we teased him this afternoon,” she tells Kotarou, and Kotarou finally unclenches his fingers from her sweatpants and laughs. She bops his nose with her finger, and informs Sorahiko, “Remember the boy Toshinori saved? He’s here for dinner, and his name is David Shield.”

“What,” says Sorahiko.

“He’s, hmm, offered to make Toshinori a suit, and Toshinori thought he should pay the favor back with dinner.”

“I don’t understand English yet,” Kotarou complains.

“There’s that too,” she adds, but comforts Kotarou with, “I’m sure he’ll understand Japanese if you speak slowly, Kota.”

Footsteps on the staircase. They’re both heavy-footed, Nana distantly registers, and they’re headed for Toshinori’s bedroom. Which is normal for friends to do. Heck, she and Sorahiko used to have sleepovers together. This is fine.

Toshinori has known Dave for, at most, four hours.

Sorahiko sets the ladle to the side. He appears to be tracking a similar line of thought, because he says, slowly, “You know, when Toshinori came out to us as bisexual last week, I didn’t think…”

“He didn’t have anyone in high school,” Nana points out. “If there’s any place to explore romance without consequence, it’s halfway across the world.” She grimaces. “Also, let’s not jump to conclusions. We shouldn’t assume everyone Toshinori brings home is a potential partner.”

“He doesn’t bring people home,” Sorahiko stresses.

“Before, Toshinori wasn’t able to.”

Kotarou’s eyes flick back and forth between them. Incredulously, he asks, “Toshi-nii has no friends?”

They wince. Toshinori has friends the way someone builds a rolodex; many people extend their friendship, and Toshinori accepts, stores their information (name; Quirk; details about family, likes, dislikes) away in his encyclopedic brain, and never pursues a follow-up. It isn’t something they taught him, but it’s not a habit they’ve tried breaking either.

“He has friends,” says Nana. “So, best behavior, okay?”

Sorahiko grimaces. He bobs his head, but Nana assumes he’ll ask pointed questions during dinner anyway. Depending on how good a mood Toshinori is in, maybe their charge will let the interrogation slide. If not, well, Toshinori knows how grouchy Sorahiko can be.

“Okay,” Kotarou replies, oblivious to the byplay. “When’s dinner?”

“Soon,” Sorahiko promises.

(There is a long stretch of time between David Shield and Sasaki Mirai. In the span of this time, Kotarou has grown up and gotten married and had two children. Nana and Sorahiko have officially tied the knot, and they are in the midst of renovating a small apartment complex in Yamanashi Prefecture. Following Sasaki is Tsukauchi Naomasa. Then Toshinori brings home Aizawa Shouta.

“He’s like you,” Nana mourns to Sorahiko, after cheerfully seeing Aizawa off. Toshinori is walking with him to the train station; it’s fifty-fifty on whether Toshinori will spend the night in his own apartment, or in Aizawa’s bed.

“How’s that,” Sorahiko grunts, locking the front door. They trail their way to bed.

“His kids will be his students.”

He glances at her. “Kotarou wasn’t my student.”

“He learned a lot from you anyway,” Nana promptly responds, and he snorts. She’s undeterred. “Anyway, I can only assume he’ll bond with every class, and act as their collective dad. Tons and tons of encouragement, complete with rigorous physical training.” She sighs as she pushes their bedroom door open. “All those extended grandchildren we may never get to meet…”

“Be glad,” Sorahiko suggests. “I can only imagine Toshinori fathering a child with even crazier dreams, and we’ve finally reached a point in our lives where we don’t have to deal with that shit.”

“You’ve jinxed it.”

“I’ve jinxed nothing.”

Four months later, when they are watching the Sports Festival live on television, staring at a fluffy green-haired boy shout ‘Smash’ battle-cries and perform therapy so bad (so well? The result may have been the goal), he’s knocked clear out of the tournament--

“I jinxed it,” says Sorahiko in disbelief, as Nana cackles and starts texting Toshinori to bring home Midoriya Izuku.)

[elianthvia]

7 Reasons Why I Quit

(only for a little bit)

It has, alas, been another few weeks since I posted. I have an excuse for my unpunctuality: I've been spinning non-stop like a top. The conclusion of the last Zoomester and the start of summer are to blame. I have seven partners in crime.

Culprit 1: Puppetry Workshop

Towards the end of the year, DTI (Design Thinking Initiative), in collaboration with the Theatre Shop, hosted an in-person puppetry workshop where a small number of people could participate per covid protocols. In-person events were few and far between this semester, so of course I rushed to sign up. The workshop ran for about 2 hours on three consecutive Mondays. We met in the theatre shop inside Mendenhall Center for Performing Arts.  

The first day we made shadow puppets (and mine was a bee); the second day we made hand puppets (mine was a ... cyclop ghost king?); the third day we made marionette or string puppets (I attempted to make a teru teru bōzu, but everyone thought it a ghost). I had a lot of fun trying different fabrics, re-learning how to use a bandsaw, and magically joining things together with the help of a hot glue gun. (Side note: Polymer chemistry is the magician behind the scene, and I will be learning more about the science of hot glue guns in the polymer class I am taking next semester!) The workshop was surprisingly not as popular as I anticipated, maybe because people were busy as the semester came to a close. The good news is that DTI will be running the workshop again in the fall so more people will get to participate.

(Is she a ghost or teru teru bōzu?)

Culprit 2: Spring Piano Recital

I did not expect to attend a live concert this semester, but I was invited to the spring piano recital as a "special guest." It is a habit I developed while working as a concert crew at Sage, to sit outside the Sweeney Concert Hall and listen to the rehearsals after I finished setting up the stage. That day I was going to do homework outside the concert hall while waiting for my performing friend to finish. The piano instructor spotted me and asked me if I wanted to join. Disbelieving in my good luck, I accepted the invite. About ten students were scattered in the almost empty concert that felt sad and lonesome, but soon music filled the air. I thoroughly enjoyed every performance. Lots of Chopin were played, but my favorite one is Rhapsody in Blue which just entered the public domain this year. All pieces are about or more than a century old, which is not a surprise, but refreshingly, there is a piece by a female composer, Amy Beach, whose granduncle co-founded Bates College. You can find the full program here.

Culprit 3: End of Classes

The end of classes was epitomized by professor-resembling pixels on our computer screens bidding us goodbye. Usually professors would plan something fun for the last day of classes, virtually as well. 

I remember last semester my Multivariable Calculus professor changed his virtual background to a wall of donuts, explaining that during the pre-pandemic times he used to bring a box of donuts for students on the last day. This semester in Mathematical Methods for Physicists and Engineers, we explored the applications of Fourier Transform by looking at the velocity of a star and detecting the number of planets around it. Our last Circuit Theory lab was in person, where we got to listen to a song/piece of our own choice through the low pass filter and the high pass filter pictured below. The professor handed out prizes (cool items she accumulated in conferences) to students to reward them for their participation in the pre-class trivia games. I received a mini glow moon. In addition, our circuits professor left out end-of-class fun packs with origami papers and stickers outside her office. Our last Organic Chemistry lab was also in-person, where each lab group presented their experiments and findings (through a projector rather than Zoom screen share!) My presentation group decided to dress up for this special occasion after a long year of virtual school. Lastly, for Organic Chemistry, we played organic chemistry jeopardy in our last lecture.

With all the professors wishing you a happy summer, you start daydreaming about the sunny beach and breezy wind. Oh wait, you still have final exams to take. All in three days!

Culprit 4: Final Examinations

This semester we had a three-day final exam study period (or reading period) when professors are not allowed to assign any homework or set deadlines. Right after the reading period is our final exams. Smith is known for its flexibility when it comes to exams thanks to its Honor Code system. Many exams are self-scheduled. Some are open-notes, and some are untimed. In a normal year, students go to Seelye Hall to print out and take the exams when they feel prepared. 

For the classes I am taking this semester, I had three hours to take my Math Methods final, a whole day to take the Circuits Theory final, and the entire finals period to take my Organic Chemistry I final. Besides the exams, I had several other writing assignments to turn in. I was very fatigued at the end of the semester, so even though I only had three exams, I struggled to muster up mental energy to study. To make things worse, I got my second Pfizer shot during the reading period and had a pretty bad reaction. As a result, I asked the class dean to give me an extension on an exam, which was generously granted, and I was gratefully less overwhelmed.

Culprit 5: SmithCycle

The finals are now over, but my vacation didn't start yet. I am staying on campus for a few extra weeks to work for SmithCycle. SmithCycle is a program that collects, sorts and redistributes gently used dorm items students donate in the move-out process at the end of each school year. It gives purpose to items of reusable value and creates a more sustainable campus. In the past week, we have collected hundreds of bags (no exaggerations!) of items. Besides clothes, books, school and dorm supplies, some of the unexpected items include coffee makers, brand new water filters, and a monitor. One of my coworkers commented that first-years shouldn't have to shop clothes hangers again while they were going through three boxes of donated hangers.

The winter clothes we collected are going to the International Students and Scholars Office. They have an event called Winter Clothes Closet every fall where international students "shop" for free to help them get accustomed to the New England weather. School supplies will be moved into the Common Goods Resources Center which CEEDS hopes to launch in Fall 2021 (very exciting!). I cannot plug SmithCycle enough. If you are an incoming first-year, visit the Common Goods Resources center before you head to Target! 

I have always been interested in sustainability and renewable energy and want to get more involved. When I saw the SmithCycle worker position posted on Workday, I immediately applied. Every SmithCycle worker's job varies. I am mainly responsible for washing and drying the linens and blankets. When waiting for the washer and dryer, I help with unloading the van that circulates between houses to pick up bags of donations. I also help with sorting. Pictured below is the inside of Scott Gym where all the items are currently stored.

Culprit 7: Summer Housing

As college transitions into summer, students who are staying on campus for some part of the summer had to move out of their spring housing assignment into their summer housing. I moved from Chapin, the house in central campus, to Capen, which is on the periphery of Smith. I know Chapin and Capen sound alike, but they are very different houses location-wise and personality-wise! To make up for its distance to the academic buildings, Capen House has its own garden, Capen Garden. The garden a gorgeous place many current Smithies are missing out on. There is a mini fountain, hedges, a garden temple, a plant arch, and a bizarre owl statue. Look at the last picture of the garden in this blog, and you will agree with me that the Paradise Pond is overrated.  

Built in 1825 and acquired by Smith in 1921, Capen House is named after Bessie Capen, the second woman to be admitted to MIT. She taught chemistry at Smith College. Fun fact: Bessie Capen was once the associate principal of the Mary A. Burnham School for Girls, now Stoneleigh-Burham School; I went there for horseback riding lessons during my first year at Smith. Small world, right?

Case Closed

Thanks for reading this long-ish explanation. I hope my tardiness in delivering this post may be justified by the causes above. To compensate, I will write about my other summer plans and updates in the next few weeks. Stay tuned! Meanwhile, enjoy your summer!

[myheartrevealedocs]

Untouchable- Ch 1: Jenna Borge

Summary: A Spencer Reid x OC fanfic that retells select episodes, starting in season 1, from the point of view of Lydia Ambers, a forensic scientist.

Warnings: swearing, murder

Ch 2 | About Lydia

~ ~ ~

Waking up in a hospital was not Lydia’s idea of a good time.

Not as a broke college student. And especially not when she had no recollection of injuring herself. In fact, she couldn’t even remember falling asleep. It was like she had blinked and found herself horizontal… Not great.

She tried to pull herself together enough to figure out what was wrong. Other than her head being fuzzy, she couldn’t seem to find any injuries on herself. Perhaps she’d passed out? But if that were the case, Jenna would have given her some water and put her to bed. What would warrant a trip to the hospital?

“Lydia Ambers?” A woman asked, pulling her attention to the door. “My name is Detective Richards. I have a few questions for you.”

Oh shit… 

~ ~ ~

“Last night, in Santa Cruz, California, college student Jenna Borge was stabbed multiple times in her dorm room. Her roommate, Lydia Ambers, was sedated with antipsychotics, but otherwise unharmed.”

“So, it’s personal,” Morgan inferred.

“You would think that,” JJ agreed. “Only, this doesn’t look to be his first kill. Two months ago, a recent graduate from UC Santa Cruz, Elizabeth Chang, was stabbed and killed while walking home from work. Six months before that, Lucy Max was found in an alleyway. The first two girls were assumed to have been victims of muggings, but now with Jenna’s death, the Santa Cruz PD are thinking it’s a serial killer.”

“Any connection between the victims?” Elle asked, but JJ shook her head.

“Nothing but age and gender. These girls were of different races, social standings, and Lucy was a college student at a different school than Elizabeth and Jenna. It’s highly unlikely that these girls have any friends in common.”

“Why leave the roommate alive then?” It was Reid this time, looking through the information on his file. “If our unsub has no preference for the girls he picks, why not kill her too? And the fact that he had the tranquilizer handy means he knew she would be there and had planned ahead of time not to kill her.”

“So, our unsub has some sort of connection with these girls. He’s killing these girls for a reason. The question is, what reason?” Gideon finished, standing up to leave. “Let’s go to California.”

~ ~ ~

“I need you to tell me everything you remember,” Detective Richards said, sitting beside Lydia’s bed.

“What’s going on?” Lydia demanded. “Why am I here?”

“I really need to know what you know before I tell you anything,” the woman explained, unhelpfully.

“I don’t know anything! I swear, the last thing I remember was studying in my room.”

“Was your roommate there?”

Lydia huffed. She didn’t get it. Something was going on, something bad, likely having to do with the fact that she ended up in a hospital with no apparent injuries. And the only person who knew was being passive and dodging her questions.

The last time she’d had to deal with the police like this, they’d been as blunt as a hammer. Sixteen-year-old Lydia had no clue what was coming and they swept the rug out from underneath her. She had felt like she was drowning, being asked a thousand questions before their words could sink in.

Somehow, Detective Richards was worse.

“Yes. My roommate was trying to sleep.”

“And was there anyone else in the room with you?”

Lydia did all she could to keep from scratching her own eyes out. “No.”

“Are you sure? This is vital information, Miss Ambers. We need to know everyone who came in and out of your room yesterday.”

“I’m not lying,” she insisted. “Only Jenna and I were in our room. Now please, tell me what happened!”

The detective hesitated a moment. Lydia’s heart leapt into her throat, the suspense finally catching up to her. Perhaps a realization, too. For some reason, she could see where this was going.

“Last night, someone came into your room and murdered your roommate, Jenna Borge.”

The denial struck first. “That doesn’t make any sense. Jenna was right next to me. I would’ve… No one was there but us.”

“You two were found by a classmate of Jenna’s. She thought you both were dead, but when the police arrived on scene, they realized that you had been knocked out, but were still breathing. The doctor can talk to you about that more than I can. Whoever killed your roommate drugged you first, to stop you from doing anything.”

And then, as always… the anger.

“Leave.”

~ ~ ~

Jenna was gone. Really gone. Lydia had tried calling her phone multiple times, but stopped herself when she realized that listening to Jenna’s voice was only fueling her anger.

It felt as if storms raged in Lydia’s stomach. If the universe was really out to get her, why did it never come for her directly?

She shed her tears quickly that night, knowing that her hospital room might be the only place for her to safely do so. Once she left, she couldn’t disappear. People would want to talk to her about it. She’d have to go back to class. And there really wasn’t any way of processing something like this except moving on.

“Drink a lot of water,” the nurse explained to Lydia, as she escorted her out of the hospital the next morning. “You’ll likely be lethargic for the next few days, so go easy on yourself. Take a day off or ask your teachers to be gentle with your workload.”

“Thank you,” she responded, shortly. “I’ll be fine.”

“Lydia Ambers?”

Lydia groaned. Another cop? Really?

The man who had called to her stood in the waiting room of the hospital. He pulled out a badge, though he was still too far away for her to see. His partner, a far younger, taller man, was raking his eyes over her, as if looking for something.

Lydia left her escort and walked over to the two of them, arms crossed over her chest. “Yes?”

“My name is Agent Gideon, this is Dr. Reid. We’re from the FBI.”

She raised an eyebrow, not intending to be challenging, but she couldn’t help it. Lydia had never been great at calming herself down, despite all the opportunities to practice. “Whoopie for you. I explained to Detective Richards what happened that night. I honestly don’t remember anything. If you’re here to take me in as a suspect, go ahead, but if not, there’s nothing I can do for you.”

“Miss Ambers, we work for the Behavioral Analysis Unit. We’re not questioning you as a suspect, but we believe the man who attacked your roommate might have known her before he killed her. You might have known him as well. Do you think you could come back to the station with us and sit through a few more questions?”

No, I can’t. The emotional strength it takes to pretend like I’m okay is too much for me. Another hour of questioning and I guarantee my head will explode, I’ll vomit what little is left in my stomach and then my own intestines, and I’ll assault a police officer… In that order.

“Don’t call me Miss Ambers,” she insisted, ignoring the violent monologue replaying in her head. “Lydia is fine. But yes, I’ll come along.”

Agent Gideon nodded and Lydia could see an understanding in his eyes. But she pushed it aside as simply his experience in dealing with grieving strangers.

He led her and Dr. Reid out of the hospital and to a black SUV. As they walked, Dr. Reid fell slightly behind Lydia, which she knew couldn’t be an accident considering his insanely long legs. And even if she didn’t know that, his gaze was burning holes into her side.

“Are you sure I’m not a suspect?”

“Do you think you should be?” Agent Gideon asked.

“No, but Dr. Reid here is staring at me like I might pull a gun on him any minute.”

The guy looked startled that she had even acknowledged him, glancing at Gideon like he needed permission to speak to her. “Um, I was trying to identify the source of your limp. Your hip and knee don’t jerk when you walk and you seem to be able to extend them fully, but you clearly favor your left leg.”

Lydia rolled her eyes. Normally the question was phrased as ‘What’s wrong with your leg?’ She had to admit, she appreciated his forwardness about staring, but it didn’t make her want to answer any more.

“Well, don’t worry Dr. Reid. My medical records will reflect the fact that I have had this for 5 years and it doesn’t affect the case. Thank you for the concern, though.” And with that, she slid into the backseat and shut the door.

He looked at Gideon, confused. “I wasn’t asking because I’m-”

“That means don’t talk about it, Reid,” Gideon told him, before he also got into the car and turned on the engine.

~ ~ ~

“How long had you known Jenna?” Gideon started, having Lydia sit down in an empty room in the station. Reid continued his hovering in the back, completely silent.

“Since we were freshmen… We were going to graduate together next month.”

Saying those words aloud was harder for Lydia than she thought. Her nose started to burn, a sign that tears were on the way, but she set her face with a look of determination. Jenna wasn’t going to graduate. That was a fact now. She couldn’t do anything about that.

“Are you alright, Mi- Lydia?”

She scoffed. “I’m sorry?” she asked, thrown completely off guard. “Should I be?? My friend was just…” The words died in her throat.

“I’m sorry.” Agent Gideon’s tone was completely sincere, but he continued mercilessly. “You’re not displaying some of the typical signs of grief-”

She laughed, dryly. “You analyze behavior and you don’t know that people handle their grief differently?”

“Of course I do. And yours indicates guilt. Perhaps some past trauma you’re trying to repress-”

“You said I wasn’t a suspect-”

“And you’re not-”

“Then stop profiling me!” She smashed her fist against the table and the sudden sting against her hand brought her back to reality. Don’t make this harder. Getting angry at the police only made both sides more frustrated, it wouldn’t compel anyone to find out who did this faster. She gritted her teeth to continue. “Yes, I feel guilty. I let someone sedate me and kill my roommate. And I just don’t understand why he didn’t kill me! Everything else: my anger issues, my past, my fucking leg, it doesn’t pertain to this case. So, please, just let me be.”

“I’m sorry that I’ve upset you.”

That was a shift from what she was used to. When she was younger, it was always the same routine. She’d lash out and the rest of the world would send her away until she calmed down. And she knew that it was her fault. That they didn’t deserve her rage. But she never realized how nice it might be to have someone stop her then and there. And take the blame away from her fury, if only for a moment.

“You didn’t upset me. Agent Gideon, I’m sure you’ve dealt with worse characters than me… at least I hope you have. Just know that I’m doing my best… if there was more to say, I would have told you. If it was going to help, I’d tell you every detail of my past, but it isn’t.”

He seemed to agree with that. Maybe he wasn’t so bad.

“Now then… what else do you want to know?”

~ ~ ~

“Notice anything?” Gideon inquired as the two of them left Lydia, exiting the room she was held in and joining the team in a separate part of the station.

“Yeah? She’s like a walking contradiction. She claims anger issues, but she shows no signs of stress. She makes snappy remarks, but physically she seemed anxious, not angry. Her face is relaxed and her shoulders hold all her tension, not her hands or jaw.”

Gideon nodded, listening closely to the boy’s observations. “What do you make of the fact that she keeps asking if she’s a suspect?”

“Nerves? Guilty conscious? Maybe she’s afraid we’ll find something and she wants to make sure we aren’t looking into her.”

“Good. She doesn’t want to be profiled, that usually indicates that she’s hiding something. But, it always comes back to her past, one she claims Jenna had no part of. So… she’s got a bad history, but it’s unrelated to the case.”

“And for some reason it’s taking priority in her mind, instead of Jenna’s death,” Reid concluded.

“You talking about the roommate?” Hotch asked as they approached.

“Yes,” Gideon explained. “She’s an interesting one. A challenge.”

“Do you think she’s involved?”

Gideon shook his head. “If her medical report wasn’t alibi enough, she shows no signs of being a psychopath. Or a sociopath, for that matter. But she’s hard to profile. She’s got a complicated past, no doubt.”

Morgan laughed upon hearing this. “There’s someone Gideon and Reid can’t profile?”

Reid tried to defend the two of them almost immediately. “It’s almost like she uses her generic differences to hide from the bigger ones. Like, she kept saying she had anger issues, and while that added up with her reactions, clearly they stem from something very particular in her life and she’s trying to pretend like that’s not there. Or something…”

Morgan looked him up and down, noticing Reid’s hesitance in his words: almost, like, something… “She’s got you all confused, Reid. I’ve got to meet this chick.”

“You can,” JJ said, walking into the room with Lydia in tow. “She’s still here.”

The whole room looked up as the new girl strode in. Spencer watched her closely, but for some reason, all his suspicions about her had dissolved after meeting her in the hospital. He tried to be unbiased, but he had something of a gut feeling about her. An inexplicable trust that this act of hers was reasonable.

Lydia’s hair was dark, the ends brushing her shoulders as she walked. She looked nervous, approaching the room of profilers, but her voice was completely steady as she spoke.

“I want to offer more assistance. Better assistance than talking about Jenna’s past boyfriends… I just finished an internship recently with the SCPD. I’m a chemistry student, on track to becoming a forensic scientist. I know I’m not anywhere near as qualified as you are, but I’m far more familiar with the crime scene. At the very least, let me point out anything suspicious. Before you guys clear it out, that is.”

Hotch sucked in his lips, hesitantly, before approaching. “Miss-”

“Lydia,” she and Gideon said simultaneously. She glanced at the older man with an unreadable expression.

“Lydia,” Hotch corrected. “I’m Agent Hotchner. What you’re asking to do is difficult. You’ve seen how some of these crime scenes turn out. It’s messy. We can’t guarantee you’re psychologically ready to see what’s there.”

“I won’t be a burden,” she insisted. “You can have surveillance over me the whole time. But I’m positive I can help.”

“Let her do it,” Gideon chimed in. “I’ll keep an eye on her.”

Hotch was clearly not convinced on the matter, but he nodded. “Reid and Morgan, go along.”

Derek approached, reaching his hand out to shake. “I’m Agent Morgan.”

“Lydia,” she introduced, her demeanor calmer now that Hotch had agreed. “Thank you,” she told the unit chief and left briskly.

“She’s definitely guarded,” Morgan admitted. “She must be hiding a big heart underneath that mask. That or she has ulterior motives to go to the crime scene.”

~ ~ ~

Don’t touch anything.

She almost ran the minute the door opened. It had been a day and a half and the room still smelled with an iron-y sharpness.

If you start to cry, or feel sick, just go. Don’t stop to explain yourself.

Every time she looked at the bed, the words ‘that’s not hers’ flashed in front of her eyes. That dark red stain… that’s not hers. And the light red droplets by the door… that’s not hers.

If you can’t handle it, leave.

Wait… that’s not hers...

“Did you guys test this blood?”

Morgan’s face read with clear confusion. “Why do you ask?”

Lydia’s eyes glanced between the bed and the few spots on the floor. “You said he tied her to the bed before stabbing her. Then, how did these get here? It’s not like he or the knife was dripping with her blood, or else there’d be more evidence of it around the room. Not to mention, he had to walk out of the room and down the hall without raising suspicions. So, it’s unlikely there was enough blood on him or the knife to drip on the floor over here. However, if he’d accidentally been cut, he’d be quick to cover it. Probably didn’t notice any evidence hit the floor. That’s why there’s some here, far away from the body, but not trailing to or from it.”

“Very clever,” Gideon acknowledged. “We actually did have that blood tested. It wasn’t your roommates.”

She nodded, but didn’t seem all that happy to hear she was right. Reid had taken notice that the whole time she was explaining her theory, she never called her roommate by her name. She was distancing herself, which was probably good at the moment, but he wondered what she could be thinking about.

“She struggled,” Lydia continued, looking at the disheveled blankets and items which had fallen from her desk. “That’s good… I need to look in these drawers.”

“I don’t know-” Morgan started, but Gideon was already pulling a pair of gloves out of his pocket. 

“Put these on first.”

The younger man was clearly not happy about it, but didn’t say anything, instead glancing at Reid, who looked on curiously. Both him and Gideon wanted to know what Lydia might find.

Once her blue surgical gloves were on, she opened up the drawers to Jenna’s desk. Nothing looked weird. A little scattered, but it reflected Jenna quite well. She was just beginning to think the unsub hadn’t touched anything when a thought crossed her mind.

“Where’s her jewelry?”

“We didn’t find any,” Morgan explained and Lydia shook her head.

“That doesn’t make sense. Jenna-” she caught herself, voice catching only for a moment. “...She always wore necklaces. She kept them in this drawer, because she didn’t like to leave expensive items out. She’d even hide them underneath all of the clutter in the hopes that a thief or burglar wouldn’t search all the way down for them. But they aren’t here. None of them are.”

“That doesn’t add up,” Morgan argued. “We didn’t profile this guy as a robber. Why’s he suddenly stealing expensive jewelry from his victims?”

Lydia shrugged and held up a wallet. “Not for the money. This is still full of cash.”

“The necklaces are a trophy for our unsub,” Gideon reasoned. “We’ve seen weirder.”

She nodded. “Her desk is always this disheveled. He could have searched them, I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.”

“Anything else seem odd to you?” Gideon asked, noticing a decline in her energy.

She bit down on her bottom lip. Her eyes scanned every corner of the room, zipping over the bed quickly. “Nothing.”

Reid paused, the wheels in his head turning. “We should check pawn shops nearby and see if any of Jenna’s jewelry ended up there. We can try to trace it back to him.”

Gideon agreed. “You two get on that. Lydia, can you come back to the station with me to look over a suspect list?”

She nodded, slowly.

~ ~ ~ 

“No… No… No… No… ”

Lydia was worried she had hit her limit. Any motivation to help was slowly seeping out of her and a need to scream was replacing it. She’d never seen these guys before. Never heard their names. The most she was able to do at the crime scene was tell them about the necklaces and then a bunch of stuff they already knew. The helpless feeling was taking over once more.

“Gideon.” JJ grabbed his attention as she walked in with a cup of coffee. She set it down next to him, then glanced at Lydia. “Can I possibly get you anything?”

Lydia shook her head. “No… I’m fine. I just-” Something compelled her to go out on a limb. “JJ? Do you know if Jenna had any jewelry on her when she died?”

The blonde woman paused. “No. I can go check the record?”

“Please,” Lydia mumbled.

As she walked off, Gideon raised an eyebrow at her. “You think the unsub might have left a necklace on her person?”

Lydia just dropped her head into her hands. “I don’t know,” she huffed. “Looking at these random men isn’t helping. It’s the only lead I’ve got so just… go with me here.”

They waited a moment for JJ to come back in. “She wasn’t wearing any jewelry, but it looks like they found a broken necklace in her pocket.”

Lydia’s ears perked up. “May I see it?”

“I’ve got a picture?” JJ offered.

“Yes. That’d be great.”

Once again, she was gone and Gideon was more invested by the minute. “Broken necklace. That’s interesting. Perhaps he left it behind because it was broken?”

“Maybe he ripped it off her,” Lydia fired back.

“Here you are.” JJ dropped a picture of a beautiful gold chain with a small pink jewel attached to it. And Lydia finally felt some relief.

“What is it?” Gideon asked.

“This isn’t Jenna’s necklace.”

~ ~ ~

“Lydia believes that part of our unsub’s ritual is taking his victim’s necklaces and leaving them on the next one. Lucy Max didn’t have any jewelry on her when we found her, but Elizabeth Chang had a broken necklace in her pocket, which we can’t identify as belonging to her and Lydia claims the one in Jenna’s pocket wasn’t hers either. And since he took all of Jenna’s necklaces, it looks like he plans to drop one on the following victim as well.”

Hotch shook his head. “That’s a lot of faith to put in a random college student. This could very easily have been placed.”

“I trust Lydia,” Gideon declared. “You should have seen her on the scene, Hotch. She’s a natural at this.”

“Yeah. Maybe she’s been studying up on you. We’ve seen that before. You said you could barely figure this girl out, how do we know she’s not manipulating our case?”

“She’s not,” Gideon insisted once more. “Listen, I’ll strike you a deal. Look into this. For me. We think this guy gets his high off of leaving hints as to who he is. Start with anything that might have significance to a necklace. If I’m wrong, I’ll do all the paperwork for the next 3 cases.”

“And if you’re right?” Hotch asked, not sure why he was even considering a deal now. But he was curious. And Gideon seemed set on the idea.

“If I’m right, you have to offer Lydia a job.”

~ ~ ~

Lydia woke up once again without any recollection of having fallen asleep. This time, however, she wasn’t in a hospital bed, which was a relief.

She found herself on a couch. In the police station. She sat up, worried about how long she must have been there, but no one had kicked her out yet. So… hopefully not long?

That’s when she identified the sound that had awoken her. A soft knocking came from the doorframe of the room she was in. She whipped around to find an exhausted Agent Gideon waiting for her attention.

“Sorry to disturb you Lydia, but we’re headed back to the jet, so you’ve got to leave the station.”

“Back to the jet?” She jumped from the couch. “Did you find him?”

“Yes… You were right.”

Lydia wanted to say something but found herself tripping over her own tongue. It felt as if a wave was crashing into her back. She was being pushed forward, away from the distraction of finding who did this to Jenna and instead down into the ocean

Grief was a bitch.

“I… I was right?” she asked.

Gideon started to explain the man they caught to her. Jonathan Carrey. She heard the key words as he said them: necklaces, pawn shops, mother, college girls, confession. But none of them formulated the actual accomplishment Lydia had been waiting for.

“Oh…”

She couldn’t react. Not anymore. All her energy was wasted. She was free from the strong compulsion to find out what had happened to Jenna and left with determination stats in the negatives.

“Lydia, do you have somewhere to go for now?”

She nodded.

“Okay… get some rest. You did good today.”

She felt like she was going to be sick. You did good…

She’s still dead.

And after some hesitance, Agent Gideon was gone.

Lydia picked up her phone, calling a friend to see if she could stay for a few nights.

Process. Cry. Move on. Rest.

She really needed that right now.

“Hey,” a soft voice called as she hung up the phone. This time, it was the strangely silent Dr. Reid who was watching her.

He sort of peaked in and waited for a response or invitation. After she didn’t give him any, just a blank, detached stare, he came in on his own terms

“Uh, I thought you might…” he drifted off, judging her expression before continuing. “I thought you might want these.”

He held open his hand to show her a small, knotted collection of necklaces.

“We recovered them from Jonathan Carrey’s shop. I was considering giving them to Jenna’s parents, but when we spoke to them, they didn’t seem to know as much about Jenna’s jewelry collection as you. So, I figured you’d appreciate them more.”

Lydia took them from him slowly, wrapping the chains around her fingers. Unexpectedly, a few tears slipped down her cheeks, but Lydia let them fall. She deserved it.

“Thank you, Dr. Reid.”

It was peculiar, but as he left, a single thought ran through his head:

With everything Lydia had been through, that was the first time he’d heard a tremble in her voice.

[txylorwrjtes]

(1.7) Hook Man: Part one

“Funerals and flashbacks”

Pairing: Dean x reader, eventual Sam x reader

Warning(s): Violence, angst, language, mentions of death, smidge of fluff

Summary: Y/N and the brothers investigate a series of supernatural deaths that appear to be morally driven. During the case, Y/N finds herself remembering her grief over the death of her parents.

Word count: 3723

Previous part || Supernatural rewrite S01 masterlist

While likes are appreciated, feedback is what keeps me writing.

You sipped away at your favorite beverage as you looked around the outside of the café, people were coming in and out of the place as a few others sat at the tables around yours, either catching up on some reading as they enjoyed their meal or chatting with friends they met up with. It’s been a while since you’ve been to a place like this. And when you did, it was always with the Halliwell sisters every Saturday so all of you could have the chance to relax and talk about your week and all that you’ve done. It wasn’t much, just simple chit chat with one another about the things that bugged you and all of you bursting into a fit of laughter after one of you had said something funny. You know, like best friends would do.

Being at a café with the brothers was completely different. There was a long silence between you and the older Winchester as his brother was wrapping up a conversation with someone he managed to get a hold of using the payphone. You were weirded out to see that Dean was on the laptop, doing some research and trying to find a case for the three of you. It’s not something that he normally liked to do. He was always the one to talk to people, while Sam worked the computer and read through the articles. It was almost as though they had switched bodies.

But Dean didn’t seem as obsessed with finding his dad like his brother had thought. Sure, it would’ve been nice to know if the man was okay, but he couldn’t stop telling himself that John just didn’t want to be found.

"Your half-caff venti vanilla latte is getting cold over here, Francis." Dean spoke up for the first time in a few minutes, breaking you from your thoughts and causing you to glance up to see that his brother was walking back over to the table.

"Bite me." Sam muttered in annoyance, before sitting back in his seat next to Dean.

"So, anything?" You asked in a curious tone after taking another sip of your drink.

He put his card back into his jacket pocket and let out a frustrated sigh from the lack of answers he was getting. "I had them check the FBI's missing-person's databank. No 'John Does' fitting that description. I even ran his plates for traffic violations."

"I'm telling you, I don't think Dad wants to be found." Dean said, staring at his little brother. You bit down on your bottom lip when you took notice that the younger Winchester’s expression changed into a completely different one. He turned his head away from his brother and let out a quiet sigh as Dean changed the subject, turning the laptop over to him. "Check this out. News Item out of Plains Courier Ankeny, Iowa. It's about a hundred miles from here."

You got up from your seat and made your way around to where Sam sat, standing over him so that you could take a look at the news article for yourself. "'Mutilated body was found near the victim's car parked on nine mile road.'" Sam read off of the article, before looking over at his brother, wondering what was so special about this.

Dean picked up his coffee cup and gestured to the screen. "Keep reading."

"'Authorities are unable to provide a realistic description of the killer. The sole eyewitness, who's name has been withheld, is quoted as saying the attacker was invisible.'"

"Could be something interesting." You said, continuing to read the article a bit more.

"It could be nothing." Sam remarked. "One eyewitness who didn't see anything doesn't mean it's the invisible man."

"But what if it is?" Dean asked. "Dad would check it out."

~~~

It took a while to talk the younger Winchester into checking this possible case out. But he finally agreed to letting you and Dean drag him down to the location of where the victim lived. You were sitting in the backseat and staring out the window as the Impala pulled up towards the sidewalk, parking in front of a house that looked a bit too familiar to you. Not that you’ve been here before, but the vibe of the place had you believing that it was a frat house.

Not to mention, there were a group of boys that had to be just a few years or so younger than you roaming around the outside. A couple of them stood over one of the cars parked in the driveway as they worked on the engine with the hood popped up.

You’ve been to a place like this before, an old college friend of yours dragged you to a party that was located at a frat house. You didn’t want to go, you even begged her not to make you, but you still went. And it didn’t turn out to be as great as she promised you that it’d be. The majority of the boys were rude, and thought that you would’ve been an easy lay. Boy, were they wrong. You swore to yourself that you’d never step into a place like this ever again.

“Uh,” You leaned forward in your seat, looking over at Dean like he was insane for what he was about to make the two of you do. “I’m not going in there.”

You could see the way that the older Winchester furrowed his brows, as if he wasn’t getting what you were saying. “What do you mean?”

“First of all, I’m a girl .” You reminded him, “And this place is full of guys, who would probably go wild if I went in there, making that the second reason.”

Dean fought the urge to roll his eyes at your reasonings, as they didn’t seem to make any sense. But his little brother just so happened to agree with the fact it would’ve been a little too awkward for you to go inside of a place like this, especially when there wasn’t a party being thrown. He glanced between the two of you for a moment as a silence lingered between all of you for a few seconds, before speaking up on the matter himself.

“She’s right, Dean.” Sam said. You couldn’t help but let a smile stretch across your lips at the way he was agreeing with you. “I’m not saying girls aren’t allowed in places like this, but it’ll be extremely uncomfortable. Maybe you should just go in by yourself, I’ll stay here with Y/N.”

You watched as Dean arched a brow up at his brother, “Why don’t I stay out here with her?” He questioned him. You bit down onto your bottom lip, refraining yourself from rolling your own eyes from what he said next. “After all, she’s my girlfriend.”

He more than likely didn’t mean for it to happen, but the way he said it sounded a little too possessive, and you were growing nervous that the younger Winchester was just going to give in and get out of the car. But he knew better with how tense you were feeling around his brother the last few days, he wasn’t going to leave the two of you alone. “You’re better at talking to people than I am.” He gave an excuse that seemed like a good enough reason as to why he wouldn’t want to go in. “It’s part of the reason why I’m almost always doing the research.”

For a moment, you thought Dean wasn’t going to find that reason good enough. But after thinking it over, you had to keep yourself from letting out a sigh of relief when he got out of the car, shutting the door behind him before walking up to the young men standing around the front lawn. He said something to catch their attention and you scooted forward in your seat as he began to come up with a bogus lie in order to get inside of the house. You rested your arms onto the front seats, watching as in just a few moments, your boyfriend headed inside.

“Thank you for that.” You spoke up in a soft tone towards Sam. He furrowed his brows and looked back at you, wondering what you were thanking him for. “You know, for agreeing with me.. And not leaving me behind with him.”

Sam let out a chuckle at your words. “Hey, it’s the least I could do.” He said. “I’ve been feeling the tension you have with him since the day you decided you wanted to sleep in a different motel room.”

“Can you blame me, though?” You asked, watching as he just shook his head to answer your question. “Honestly, I’d rather go into a frat house again than to be alone with him right now.”

“Wait a min-” Sam’s brows slowly started to furrow together as he took a moment to process what you were saying. “You went to one of these before?”

“I did.” You said with a nod of your head, before deciding to go into a little more detail as to how you ended up in a place like this. “I was in college for a couple of years, and my best friend at the time wanted me to come to a party with her. You know, so I could end up being a little more social after meeting new people.” You explained to the man, who was listening to each word you were saying. “I was way too shy to go to places like these. Besides, I was the type of person who liked to study on a Saturday night. But she insisted until I finally gave in and went with her to this frat house. And let me just say- it was not a pleasant experience.”

With the expression on Sam’s face as he stared at you, it was almost like you were speaking in a language he had a hard time understanding. But you had it all wrong- he wasn’t confused, or weirded out by the fact that you had gone to college. He was intrigued. He knew that you’ve always been a smart girl, but he never knew that you wanted to go anywhere outside of high school. “What college did you go to?” He couldn’t help but ask.

“San Francisco university- I lived in that area, too.” You gave him an answer that had him inhaling a deep breath. All that time, you were less than an hour from where he had lived and he didn’t even know it.

“I was at Stanford,” He told you, and your eyes widened at the short amount of distance there had been between the two of you. You travelled all throughout the state of California, and you most definitely had gone to Palo Alto before, now you wished you would’ve bumped into him. “I was studying for a law degree, you know, until Jessica died. Now I-.. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I don’t even know if college is a good idea anymore, now that I’m back on the road and hunting.”

A frown fell upon your lips at what you were hearing. You were in that position once before, too. When your parents died, you didn’t know if you wanted to go back to college, but you did. The second time, you went to the one Phoebe had suggested to you quite a couple of times- Berkeley. You managed to finish it, and got your degree to become an advice columnist, knowing that it was something you’ve wanted to be your whole life. Because helping others was your passion. Now, you were helping others in a much different way.

You reached up and placed a hand on his shoulder, in a way to comfort him. “I know what you mean.” You said, deciding to bring the columnist part of you back for a moment. “Believe me, I do. But you can’t give up on your dreams, when you find your dad you should definitely go back.”

Sam said, he reached his own hand up and placed it on top of yours, giving it a gentle squeeze as he gave you a small smile, as if to say thank you for the small piece of advice. For some reason, the touch sent a tingling sensation down your spine, and you had a feeling that your hand would’ve fit perfectly into his if you just held onto it.

Silence lingered in the air between the two of you again as you just kept your hands like this. Yours placed upon his shoulder, and his placed upon your own. But after what like minutes, you pulled your hand away when you heard the driver’s side door open up.

The car shook a bit as the older Winchester settled himself back into his seat, finally coming back from talking to one of the boys about their friend’s death. He didn’t seem to notice what had happened with you and his brother, and you gave him a look, wondering what went down in that house. But all he did, was turn to you and ask a question that didn’t leave you with a good feeling.

“Who’s up to crashing a funeral?”

~~~

It's been a couple of weeks since your parents were killed. Your mother's body was never found after they managed to put out the fire. But they did find your dad's. Darryl Morris was the one to give you the news, considering how he was good friends with the Halliwell's. Your dad's body was back at the morgue, and they were all waiting on you to decide where and when the funeral was going to be held. You were putting it off for days, not only because your mother wasn't found, but because you knew that if it happened, it'd mean that your dad was really gone. And you couldn't bring yourself to say goodbye. But Leo managed to convince you that it was best to let him go. And if your mother was dead, it would also be a way of saying that you were letting her go as well.

And that's how you were now standing in front of the church, the same church that Prue's funeral was held in. All of the people you sent invitations to, the friends you had back in your old home town, your parent's friends, family members that you haven't seen in ages, along with a couple people you recently made friends with.. they were there. The majority of them were inside already, a few were just heading inside.

But you just stood there, with tear stained cheeks as you stared at the building in front of you. The Halliwell's were surrounding you, letting you know that they were there for you, and will continue to be whenever you decide that you are ready.

At this point, you've grown close to Paige. Perhaps it was because she was in the same boat as you. She was adopted, just like you. She treated her parents poorly, just like you. And she lost them in a tragic accident, just like you. Or perhaps, you didn't know why. But she was the one who took your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze out of comfort and told you that you could do this.

After inhaling a deep breath, you were ready to go. Everybody was waiting for you to get this started. And that's what you were going to do, because you knew it's what your dad would've wanted.

~~~

You stepped inside the church the boy back at the frat house told Dean about as the reverend spoke right after brothers. You flinched slightly when you heard the front door slam shut roughly behind you as the sound echoed off the walls. You watched as the room became silent as a few pairs of eyes jumped on you for a moment. You smiled, letting out a quiet laugh as you tried your hardest to hide your embarrassment. You followed behind Dean to the bench in the very back of the church, settling yourself down in between the brothers as the reverend continued with his speech.

"The loss of a young person is particularly tragic. A life unlived is the saddest of passing..."

You tried your best to listen to what he had to say, you found yourself zoning out from what was going on around you when memories of your dad's funeral flooded through the back of your mind again. Instead of a reverend, it was you who stood up where the microphone was.

~~~

"Uh.. I just wanted to thank everybody for coming today." You nearly stuttered out, you've been up at the stand for a couple of minutes. It took awhile for you to speak, every time you opened up your mouth, more tears started running down your face and you had to wipe them away. But after taking a deep breath, you continued. "I know that for some of you it was a long plane ride out here."

Everyone in the building was silent, and you had studied each and every person to realize you weren't the only one that was a wreck over your mom and dad's death. Some were clutching onto the tissues they had brought, not wanting to look up at the coffin that was right behind you. Others had eyes that were red and puffy from all of the crying they had done just after stepping inside of the church. And a few people broke into sobs just from the few words you spoke. You bit the inside of your cheek, trying your best to keep yourself composed.

"My mom's wasn't found, but there's no doubt that she's gone, too. And maybe that's not such a negative thing. My parents are together in heaven, and they're happy." You said in a matter-of-fact tone of voice, your vision blurring with tears. You gave a weak smile. "Some of you are people who worked with my dad, and a couple of you are neighbors that my mom became friendly with over the years.. If there was one thing that I knew about them, it's that they cared for each and everyone of you standing in this room today."

Your voice cracked, but that didn't matter anymore. Your dad was gone, and crying while you spoke was bound to happen. You reached a hand up to wipe a few more tears away, letting out a shaky breath before continuing with what you had to say. "They'd both be really happy that you came here." You said. "I know that goodbyes are tough, but my dad wouldn't want us to think of this as a goodbye, more as a 'see you later'."

~~~

The feel of someone nudging you in the side brought you back to the present. You looked over to your right to see that Sam was giving you a look of concern from seeing the tears that were streaming down your face. He mouthed the question, "Are you okay?" to you. You gave him a small smile and nodded your head yes. It was a lie, but you knew that you'd be fine eventually.

You let out a quiet sigh and turned your attention forward, before ducking your head down and closing your eyes after taking notice that everyone seemed to have been in the middle of a prayer.

~~~

Soon after the funeral ended, everyone exited the church. You and the boys stepped outside and waited until you could find Lori. You watched two girls exit as they mumbled something about plans, but the one in the green shirt was making up an excuse as to why she couldn't go. You walked up to her after she said goodbye to her friend, the boys following behind.

"Are you Lori?" You asked from behind. She turned around and made eye contact with you, she smiled and nodded her head. "My name is Y/N. This is Sam and Dean, my best friend and...my boyfriend." You pointed to the boys as Dean waved at her while Sam smiled. "They just transferred to the University. I'm just here to be with them for a few days until they get settled into their new place."

She nodded her head again. "I saw you inside."

"We don't want to bother you. But we heard about what happened." Sam explained, moving his hands around as he talked.

"We just wanted to say how sorry we were." Dean added.

"I kind of know what you're going through." Sam confessed with a small smile. "I-I saw someone get hurt once. It's something that you don't forget."

You could say the exact same thing, but you decided to stay quiet. Because it was years ago. The death of Jessica and Lori’s boyfriend were recent, you already had your time to grieve. At least, that’s what you wanted to keep telling yourself. Sure, you didn’t get out of bed for weeks after your parents died, but a couple of things today brought back memories of the time you utterly broken. And those feelings were beginning to bubble back up to the surface.

Lori nodded her head as if she understood where the younger Winchester was coming from. She felt silent for a few moments, and you found your attention slowly drifting over to the man coming up behind her, who you presumed to be her father. The young girl turned to look at him when he had rested a hand on her shoulder, flashing a smile at the four of you. "Dad, this is Sam and Dean. They're new students." Lori pointed at the brothers, before introducing you. "And this is Y/N."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, sir." Dean flashed a smile as he put out his hand for the reverend to shake. "I must say that was an inspiring sermon."

"Thank you very much." The reverend said while dropping his hands to his side. "It's so nice to find young people who are open to the Lord's message."

Dean chuckled as the three of you looked at one another. You smiled at the reverend. "Listen we're new in town, actually." You explained, walking away from Sam and Lori so that you and Dean could talk to the reverend.

~~~

Next part

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[shipyard98]

“The Cigarette Book” - Chapter 3: K (Jotaro’s Story)

Fandom: Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure

Pairing: Jotaro Kujo x Reader

Word Count: 

Rating: T for Teen (reference to sex and mild swearing)

Summary: One morning, an odd change dawns over Jotaro Kujo, your housemate and friend with benefits. He was suddenly smoking again, but more importantly, he was treating you with a little more kindness than usual. What could be the problem?

(link to story)

The smell of burning tobacco roused you from sleep.

Your eyes fluttered open to darkness at first. Then, as your eyes adjusted, you could make out the silhouette of your friend with benefits and housemate, who was sitting up and staring at the ceiling with a lit cigarette in his mouth. You could barely make out his features, but you knew his brow was furrowed and his mouth was frowning.

It seemed like he was deep in thought, and you were about to pull him out of it.

“…Jotaro?”

Upon hearing his name, he turned his head. Even though his features were obscured by darkness, you felt his powerful gaze land right on you.

“Oh...” he mumbled. “You’re awake.”

“Mmhm,” you groaned. “I smelled smoke.”

His gaze fell down for a moment before he took the cigarette out of his mouth and put it out in the ashtray by his side of the bed.

“Oh, no you don’t have to worry about it.” You readjusted yourself until you were sitting upright, letting the sheets fall and expose your bare chest. “It doesn’t bother me as much.”

“… As much as what?”

“Well,” you started to say hesitantly. “You said you were trying to quit when we first moved in together, and this is the first time in a while I’ve seen you with a lit cigarette… Is something wrong?”

Jotaro sat there in silence for a long while, which was definitely something you were used to.

College friends of yours who went to his high school warned you about him. According to them, he was a bad boy who was hard to get close to. Even though he did open up just a little more in senior year, people were still lucky if they could get a conversation with him going.

Despite their warnings, you found a strange appeal to him. And he turned out to be a pretty good housemate. There were very few times where you had to prompt him to do his part of the deal, and he seemed to get it done faster than you could. As time went by, he even began to help you with your work. Though he verbally stated that he didn’t enjoy it all that much, something about his demeanor told you otherwise.

That surprised your friends, and it surprised them even more when you revealed that you had coaxed him into a “beneficial friendship” about three months into mutual living. Jotaro didn’t even appear to have actual emotions, let alone a sex drive. But he agreed to it. He said it would help him keep any possible emotions of his from causing any trouble. What that trouble was, he never elaborated.

The sex was great, though, so you weren’t complaining. When you two had a session, it was divine. He knew how to use his hands against your more sensitive areas, and his thrusting felt so delicious. Sometimes, it even felt like the world came to a complete stop, it was that terrific.

Though, there were times you wanted to indulge your unrequited feelings for him.

You wish you didn't have those feelings, but life can be a bitch like that sometimes.

Jotaro finally let out a sigh.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s nothing important.”

He made a move to get out of bed before he stopped himself to look at you again, a rare moment of spontaneity coming over him.

“So… you want to go to the café for breakfast?”

You tilted your head a little in a confused expression. One part of the confusion came from the fact that he only asked to go out with you on special occasions. The other part, you vocalized.

“Is that place even open at this hour? Even more, what time is it right now?”

“5 AM. And it should be.”

“Oh, really?... Well, class isn’t until 8, so alright. Just give me a minute.”

You got out of bed and stumbled over to your closet in the dark. Whatever you got a hold of first was what you decided you were going to wear out. And after tidying yourself up a little more, you were ready to go.

Jotaro, on the other hand, seemed to wear the exact same clothes every day and he was much more awake, so it didn’t take him long at all to get ready compared to you. As soon as he had his white garb and logic-defying hat on, he went out to wait for you in the car.

Soon enough, you found yourself in the passenger seat as he revved up the engine and pulled the vehicle out of the driveway.

The ten-minute drive to the cafe was usually quiet, so you had a moment to observe the scenery in peace.

Out the window, you could see the twilight sky. Shades of purple and blue danced with the soft glow of the few rays of light that came from the rising sun. In the faint light, the dew on the grass glistened like small diamonds. The other houses and buildings faded into the background as a great shadow was casted over them.

Then, you turned your head and observed another beautiful piece of scenery; the man in the driver’s seat himself. The way his silky black hair framed his soft face, the glisten in his turquoise eyes, and the plumpness of his lips… in the bare light of the rising sun, he looked like a living portrait.

His visible eye suddenly shifted from the road ahead to give you a side glance.

The way he looked at you wasn’t like his famous death glare. It was more like he was studying you. Maybe there was even a hint of “checking you out”? You didn’t give yourself the chance to comprehend it, as you had bashfully turned your face away from him. But you could still feel him looking at you.

Then, he suddenly spoke.

“You look really nice today.”

You shot a surprised look at him. Did he, Jotaro “Romance is Dead” Kujo, just compliment you? There was no way you heard him correctly.

“Wait, what did you say?”

He huffed softly in response, letting his concentration go back on the road. In the dim light, you could’ve sworn that some pink had dusted his cheeks.

“Never mind.”

For the rest of the car trip, a silence engulfed you both. And it wasn’t like the usual silence. No, this silence was very awkward and tense. Every now and again, you’d look over at him again, but his gaze was fixed on the road. With the way his face tensed up, he seemed to have a lot going on in his mind.

All of a sudden, the car stopped and the engine died down. You peeked around and out Jotaro’s side window.

There in view was the café. It was a quaint little place, cozily set in a little grass area with the closest building being about ten feet away. The outer walls were of oak wood, and there were potted plants bordering these walls in a certain order. It was a very cozy place, from the outside and the inside.

Jotaro opened his door and stepped outside.

Your hand was just barely touching the door handle on your side when the door just swung open, as though someone else had opened it for you. It was weird, but you blamed yourself for probably not closing the door all the way, so you thought nothing much of it.

As soon as you closed your door all the way, you hurried along by Jotaro, who had been patiently waiting for you to take your place by his side. Together, you both entered the cafe.

The interior gave people a comforting feeling when they stepped inside. Oaken tables and chairs were situated in places here and there. Some were by the wall; some were by the window. And some were in the dead center of the space. A little wall separated the area between the dining area and the cash register area. To top it all off, the entire place had an unspoken theme; oriental lilies. The presence of lilies ranged from traditional paintings featuring lilies to lilies in vases on the tables. Even the air had a faint scent of lilies in it, but it never overpowered the smell of the food coming from the kitchen. It almost felt like home.

A waitress came and led you both to a table for two. She gave you both a menu and asked what kind of beverage you wanted. You ordered coffee while Jotaro went with black tea.

With a smile, she left the two of you succumb to that silence again. At this time of the day, you two were the only ones there, besides the staff. With that said, the only sounds that could be heard were of the overhead fan going in circles and the occasional chatter or movement the staff made.

You kept your eyes focused on the menu, looking over your choices. It wasn’t that you were particularly hungry; it’s just that you were kind of nervous about glancing up. Like mentioned before, you could just feel it when he looked at you, and it was no different here. With how often that sensation came over you, it felt as though he looked more at you than he did his own menu.

If you weren’t suspicious of him before, you certainly were now.

The friendly waitress from earlier broke the silence when she brought you your drinks. You both thanked her, gave your orders, and watched her hurry off into the kitchen.

After giving the top of his cup a gentle blow, Jotaro put the brim to his lips and took a swig.

He looked so content drinking his tea. It was like there was nothing too deep going on under the surface, like nothing in the world was really bothering him.

Maybe it was because of this that you finally decided to speak up.

“Are you going to tell me what’s come over you, yet?”

He stopped and opened his eyes.

“What do you mean?” he muttered as he put the cup down.

“You’ve been acting so much nicer all of a sudden. Your aura has been a lot softer, and it feels like you’ve been staring at me a lot more. That, and I’m still curious as to why you’ve suddenly started smoking again. Please, Jotaro, tell me; is something wrong?”

Jotaro tilted his head down until the brim of his hat covered his eyes. His breathing had suddenly deepened, and his clutch on the cup tightened.

“… If you’re really that curious…”

“Yes?”

“… I had a bad nightmare. It bothered me so much, I had to smoke to calm down.”

You had to take a second to blink.

“A nightmare?”

“Yeah.”

“What was it about?”

He took another quiet swig of the tea, not once raising his eyes to look at you, before continuing.

“I dreamt that I was being held down. Powerless. You were there, and…”

“… And what?”

His hands trembled ever so slightly.

“You were being killed. Right before my eyes.”

You let the silence hang in the air once again as you tried to comprehend this new piece of information. Before you had a chance to say anything in response, he continued.

“I’m such a damn idiot. I said yes to so many of your requests, because I thought that I could avoid feeling anything if I occupied myself with obedience. But every time you smile at me, I feel my heart race a little faster. Every time you speak to me, my attention lingers on you longer. And every time you moan out my name and claw at my back while we’re in bed, I realize that I like it best when it's just you and no one else…”

He hunched himself over a little bit, and he gritted his teeth as a single tear fell into his cup.

“Look,... I’m in love with you, okay?"

Your eyes had widened a little, and a blush surfaced on your cheeks. Tears begun to gloss your own eyes; his sorrowful confession touched you.

"And that worries me. People that I care about always end up in danger. I should never had even said yes to housing with you, because now I love you and I’m so scared of losing you, too. I… I can’t…”

He stopped.

In this rare moment of weakness, Jotaro didn’t notice that you had gotten up out of your chair and went to his side. Now, your arms were wrapped around him in a warm hug and your cheek was nuzzled into his neck.

He had so many thoughts bubbling in his head, yet he couldn’t say a word.

“Jotaro,” you cooed into his ear. “I love you too. I’ve loved you for a while. And I can promise you, nothing’s going to come in between us. Believe me, I will not leave your side. Okay?

If only you knew what he knew. He knew that so many bad things could happen to you if he stayed close to you. He had lost so many loved ones to battle and supernatural elements, that he wasn’t ready to let it happen again. How badly he wanted to tell you these things, but your arms felt so nice around him. You were giving him warmth he very rarely felt. It was like new life was being breathed into him.

Gently, he grabbed your chin and brought you to staring him in the eye.

Then, ever so slowly, he leaned in and pressed his lips against yours in a sweet and tender kiss. Your eyes closed and you tenderly kissed him back. He wasn’t a person who showed affection, but in that moment, he didn’t care. Let the world see how happy you made him.

A few moments later, you pulled away from him and leaned your forehead against his, causing his cap to get tilted back some. He didn’t mind it at the moment. All he could really do was quietly mumble a response to your request.

“O… K.”

[a-portable-snack]

Kaidam, Kai is dragged to a party and he hate it but then he know a handsome guy who make him change his mind

Is this loosely based off frat parties at my school? No, it’s heavily based off frat parties at my school. 

Fifteen Minutes

Kai laid on Adam’s bed watching the ceiling as him and Mira get ready for the party. They were all seniors in college and none of them really went to frat parties. Not because they were never invited. If you’re friends with Adam, you can’t NOT get invited everywhere. Mainly because they didn’t want to go. But now they were seniors with great GPAs, easy senior classes, and finally sometime to actually go little crazy. Or at least Mira and Adam can.

“Guys, I’m taking fucking Thermodynamics. I don’t understand a thing and I really should stay and study” Kai waved his brick of a textbook to make a point.

“Oh come on!” Adam stepped out of the bathroom. Kai turned to look at him and honestly stopped functioning for a second. He just had a simple short sleeved button up with jeans on. He had little bit of make up on it wasn’t noticeable but his skin was evener and his eyes looked bigger. But he was PRETTY.

That’s the thing about Adam Kai decided along time ago. Adam wasn’t hot or cute. Those words just didn’t describe him. Adam was simply pretty. Pretty enough to make Kai not realize he wasn’t paying attention to the words coming out of Adam’s mouth.

“Say that again? I can’t seem to process anything that isn’t code thanks to Ross.” Kai said.

“That is exactly my point! You’ve been working so hard for three years. It’s time to loosen up little” Adam did that dumb shimmy he does and Kai just snorted out a laugh.

“I’m sorry I can’t. I’m a fucking Robotic and Mechatronic Engineer, I’m…”

“Practically double majoring because your major is a fancy combination of mechanical and electrical engineering” Adam said with smirk. “I’ve heard the rant once or twice.”

Kai could tell that Adam wasn’t going to back down about Kai going to the party. And Kai knew that he couldn’t say no to Adam. And Adam probably knows that Kai can’t say no to him. Hence, Adam’s knowing smirk as they had a stand off, both waiting for Kai to break.

“Ugh! Fine!”

“Perfect!” Mira came out, as if she planned for Adam to convince Kai to come. “I’m dressing you up”

“You’re what?” Adam and Kai said together. Kai was not a dress up type. He won an award from the Dean’s office and he accepted the award in jeans. Kai is pretty sure he only owns baseball tees and jeans. Maybe a long sleeve t shirt. Maybe.

“Adam, leave”

“What? Why? This is my room!”

“Because I’m stealing your clothes for Kai and I’m not listening to you tell me what to choose” Mira pushed Adam out with out his keys and closed the door.

“Can I at least have my wallet so I can go buy drinks?” Adam yelled. Mira threw Adam’s wallet at him and quickly closed the door.

“Ok Mira. WHAT THE HELL?”

“It’s fine. He won’t be mad once he sees you.” Mira started to raid Adam’s closet. She didn’t want to just dress Kai like Adam but she also knew she wouldn’t be able to get anywhere with Kai’s closet. So Mira needed to find balance. She saw the perfect pieces and threw them to Kai.

“This over this. Keep your jeans but you’re wearing Adam’s shoes” Mira said. Kai looked at the clothes. He hesitantly put them. It was a tight black long sleeved shirt with a floral short sleeved button up. He didn’t hate it.

“I like it!” Mira said, and pulled out some make up.

“Mira…”

“Nope, you’re getting a little make up. Just for me” She smiled and motioned him to sit down.

“Why are you doing this?” Kai asked as Mira applied foundation.

“I am over you and Adam dancing around each other. You’re both out, you both definitely like each other, I hate feeling like I’m third wheeling when you guys aren’t even dating”

“W-what?”

“Yeah, don’t say anything. You know I’m right” Kai just sat in silence and didn’t fight back. Yes Kai thought Adam was pretty. We discussed this. But Adam’s Adam. He’s the person that Kai relies on when he needs extra hands when building a robot or the person Kai wants to go to after a long day or the person that Kai is willing to drop everything for or… HOLY SHIT KAI LOVES ADAM.

“Did you actually just have a revelation that you loved Adam?” Mira was half pissed half relieved. Like thanks god he finally noticed but HOW DID HE NOT NOTICE?

“I’m sorry! I just… I don’t know! Didn’t look at Adam? I guess” Kai is usually one that is a love at first sight kind of man. If a good looking person so much as gives him a second of attention, Kai is ready to jump off a bridge for them. Most people let him jump. But maybe that’s why Adam is so special. Adam would never ask him to jump alone. Adam would grab him hand and leap with him.

“Didn’t look” Mira said under her breath. She finished Kai makeup and hair with minimal jests. When she was finally done, Kai was shocked. He didn’t look different but he looked better. He felt like he was actually attractive. Maybe he should let Adam and Mira “queer eye” him, as they always say.

“I’m back! I will exchange gin and Faygo for my dorm back.” Adam yelled from the door. Mira looked at Kai with excited eyes and bounded to the door.

“I’ll be taking this, and you will be thanking me” Mira snatched the ingredients to make drinks.

“What do you…” Adam stopped when he saw Kai. Adam let a small smile cover his face. “I see why. You look good”

“It was all Mira. I honestly don’t understand what she did”

“Yup, I am the rock you boys are built on.” Mira said, filling up her reusable water bottle with some gin then topping off with Faygo. “And I can’t believe you got fucking grape Faygo”

“Hey grape Faygo is the best and if you don’t agree, fuck off” Kai said. Adam just sent a small smile. Adam knew Kai likes the grape the best so he didn’t really have a choice in Faygo.

“So when are we leaving?” Kai asked.

“Right now” Mira handed both the boys reusable water bottles. “Ok boys. Say it with me. Be drunk enough…”

“To enjoy the idiots but sober enough not to join” Kai and Adam chanted with Mira.

“Ok, we’re off” Kai actually felt excited. He’s gone to a few small dorm parties but no frat parties. It was the first one of the year and everyone was going to be there. The school that Kai, Mira, and Adam go to is pretty small school with only 3 frat houses. No ever goes to one house because the guys are creepy and away from the other two. The good frats however full of fun guys. The houses are both kinda small but they coordinate parties together so they aren’t competing for the best party. Why have two small parties when you can have one big one?

“HERE WE ARE!” Mira immediately ran in, pulling the boys along. Kai immediately regretted coming. He had no idea how packed this place could get. There were body count restrictions for a reason! And that beer pong table is about to fall, loose screw. Are these stairs safe? There’s no light so you had to step and pray has you went downstairs. HOW ARE THERE MORE PEOPLE DOWN HERE?

The basement was so packed Kai was had to squish his shoulders together to try to keep up with Mira and Adam. Suddenly he was pulled away in the crowd that was dancing, drinking, and singing. Oh no he was getting involved with idiots. He wasn’t even drunk.

“Oh my god who are you?” Vanessa yelled over the music and draped herself over Kai. Kai rolled his eyes. He and Vanessa “went out” (if you want to call it that) and it was not healthy and didn’t end well.

“Vanessa, it’s me Kai.” Kai said. Vanessa pulled back to look him up and down.

“Wow if I had known you could clean up so good, I might not have dumped you” Kai just rolled his eyes. He explicitly remembers breaking it off with her after Mira have an intervention with him. She was manipulative, cheating on him constantly, and was starting to isolate Kai for his friends. It was not good.

“Well, too bad. Literally nothing could convince me to get back together with you”

“Oh come on, Kai” Vanessa grabbed Kai’s hand. “Let’s have some fun tonight. For old times sake.”

Kai was tempted. His friends were gone. It would just be one night and Vanessa is just a force that is hard to ignore. Kai shook his head.

“No, I-I leaving” Kai quickly fought his way out of the crowd and went back up the stairs. He started to look around the first floor for his friends when he heard something.

“Kai!” Kai turned to sound of his name saw Skeet, one of Adam’s friends. Oh great.

“If you’re here, Adam can’t be too far away!” Skeet looked over Kai, looking for Adam. Kai tried not to roll his eyes.

“I lost him awhile ago. You might find him around” Kai said, “And if you do, can-“

“Great! Is he still single? I’ve been thinking about asking him out. The dude is practically perfect”

Kai suddenly couldn’t breath. He shouldn’t have come. People never seem to actually care about him, he’s overloaded with work, and if he has to be alone, he rather it be somewhere that people can’t bother him.

Without saying anything Kai left the house as quickly as he could. Once he was outside, he quickly made his way down the street. He shoved his hands in his pockets and fought tears. This was their senior year. It was suppose to be the best year. Kai wanted to make the best of it because he knows Mira and Adam will take off once they graduate. It’s not on purpose but their jobs could take them anywhere. Mira’s animal conversation degree could take her all the way to India and Adam’s said he’d go to any law school that’ll take him, even in Alaska. And Kai just wanted one more year where they were all together.

“KAI!”

Kai turned and saw Adam sprinting down the side walk.

“Dude! There you are. I’ve been look all over for you” Adam slowed to a walk as he got close. When he noticed Kai was almost in tears, he closed the gap between them quickly.

“What happened? Did someone do something? I’m going to kick their ass” Adam almost seemed ready to go back to the party and destroy everyone until he figured out who hurt Kai. Kai grabbed Adam’s wrist and breathed out a laugh.

“Its fine. I… I just lost you guys than I ran into Vanessa then Skeet was looking for you and I just got overwhelmed. I’m just going to head back.” Kai gave Adam small smile and went to leave.

“15 minutes” Adam said. Kai turned around and gave him a weird look.

“Mira and I found a good spot. If you give me 15 minutes and still want to go home, I’ll walk you home myself” Kai wanted to say no. He wanted to go home. But it was Adam. And it was only 15 minutes. So Kai nodded an ok.

Adam laced his hand into Kai’s and pulled him back to the house. They went threw the front door and to the basement. Adam pulled Kai in front of him and wrapped a strong arm around his hip and pulled him close.

“I’m not losing you again.” Adam whispered into his ear. Kai was hoped Adam didn’t see the strong blush that crawled across his face and to his ears. Adam pushed Kai threw the crowd Kai kept his head down, hoping not to see Vanessa again. Adam lead him to a set of stair that Kai didn’t see when he was down here the first time. Adam guided him up the stairs and opened the door. It lead to the backyard of the house.

It was a really relaxed atmosphere compared to inside where everyone just seemed to be going has hard as possible. There were two picnic table, one with a beer pong game going, the other acting seats for the few people out here. There was also a keg toss competition going on and some people sitting on the ground smoking.

“Kai!” Mira jumped off the table and ran over. “There you are. Did you get lost in the crowd?”

“Something like that” Kai rubbed his neck.

“Come on” Adam pulled Kai to the picnic table. Adam sat on top of the and pulled Kai so he sat in-between his knees. Adam then slung a protective arm over Kai’s shoulder. At first Kai was really stiff but he quickly relaxed into he touch. They all started cheering for the beer pong game, Kai doing fake intense sports commentary that had everyone laughing. Eventually, Mira convinced Adam to do the Keg toss, to which Adam set a new frat record for.

Kai ended up staying way passed the 15 minutes. He stopped watching the clock after 5. He didn’t realize how late it was until one of the frat guys came to the backyard.

“Sorry guys but it’s like 3 am and we need to shut it down. Hope you had fun tho!” He said and escorted everyone that was in the backyard through the now empty basement to the first floor where people were filing out.

“So,” Adam carefully placed an arm over Kai’s shoulders “Are you happy you stayed?”

Kai, in moment of bravery, kissed Adam’s cheek. “Yes, I am”

[random-mha-thoughts]

Night Drives (Shinsou x Reader)

Pairing: Shinsou x Reader 

Genre: Fluff/Comfort, College!AU

Summary: You’re having a rough and stressful week, and Shinsou helps by taking you out for a late night trip.

Word count: 1,814

Tags:  @yuki-osaki​ @liviitehe​ @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog​ @bunnythepipsqueak​

a/n: I know I promised angst, but I really wanted to write this little comfort/fluff piece for anyone who might be facing a mid-semester funk/depression like me.  I was inspired because I went out to pick my cousin up from the airport late last night and I never realized how therapeutic night driving can be.

I also wasn’t really sure which character I wanted to write for this (bc they would all fit one way or another), but I chose Shinsou bc I haven’t written for him in a hot minute and he deserves some more love.

I hope you guys enjoy it, and I hope it helped some of you and maybe helped cheer you up 😊

I sit at my desk, hands carding through my messy hair.  Pouring over my notes is the most stressful thing I could be doing this weekend, I'd rather be sleeping or doing something more relaxing.  Weekends before exams are always the hardest because it's when I get my biggest chunk of studying done, so I'm usually holed up in my room the entire day.

It's also times like this when the dark thoughts roll in.  I've always been a smart kid, but being in college really makes me question it.  Getting low B's and high C's on exams in my major classes don't mean the end of the world, but I rethink who I think I am because of it.  I still get A's in my other bullshit classes, so why am I struggling in the classes that are supposed to teach me the skills I need for my future career?  Should I rethink my future?  Do I even want to go into my chosen field anymore?  Am I making a huge mistake being here?  I'm wasting my entire scholarship money if I decide to start over from scratch.  My fingers close in on my scalp.

"Kitty?"

The warmth in his voice jolts my head up.  "Oh, hey."  I straighten my back, not even realizing how hunched over my back was.

Shinsou's eyebrows are furrowed at me.  "Are you okay?"  His large thumb brushes over the wetness clinging at the corners of my eyes.  "You're crying."

I tug at the sleeves of my hoodie.  "Yeah, I'm fine."

He studies my face carefully, his own dark circles standing out against his pale skin.  He knows how I get when I'm in this mode, staying respectful of my study habits.  Since I don't come out of my room, he'll let himself in and stay in my bed, reading, sleeping, doing his own studying, or watching something on his laptop until I'm finished.  Just a few moments ago when I peaked over my shoulder to see what he was doing, he'd fallen asleep with his headphones on, lightly snoring.  He doesn't bother me.  It's something I appreciate about him.

Shinsou crosses his arms over his chest.  "When was the last time you ate?"

My stomach admittedly feels empty.  I've only been snacking when I felt hungry.  Looking at the clock, it's almost midnight.  "Since breakfast," I answer feebly.

A sigh escapes his lips.  "Are you finished now?  You've been like this all day."

I cast a dreadful look over the pages of notes.  There's still a few chapters I need to look over, but my brain feels that it might explode if I try to cram anymore information in.  The worst part is I don't even feel like I've retained anything I've read in the past few hours.  I start closing my books.  "Yeah, I'm done."  And utterly defeated.

Shinsou gently takes my hand in his, calling my attention to him.  "Come on, go wash your face and change.  We're gonna go eat."

He leaves me to go to his room and fetch his wallet.  Trudging into the bathroom and following his instructions, I wash my face to wake myself up, change into some jeans, and pull on a hoodie that's more presentable for going out into the world.

Shinsou returns, changed into a pair of jeans, hoodie, and denim jacket, and we head out of our dorm building.  The air isn't as cold as I thought, but it was just as deserted.  The scattered lamp posts across the pavement are the only illuminations in the parking lot.  I walk with my hands in my pockets and my hood up.

How the hell am I gonna learn everything by Tuesday? I despair.  I hate how I always end up thinking about work even when I don't want to.

Shinsou closes the distance between us and snakes his arm around my torso.  "Have you ever considered getting a hoodie with cat ears on them?" he asked casually.

I'm thrown off by his random question, but I have to laugh.  "Uh, no?  Why would I wear it?"

"So I can pull at the ears, duh."

"You and your cat addiction needs to chill."  I want to shove him away, but his warmth feels great to touch.  "Where are we going?"

"Noodles?" he offers.  "It's been getting pretty cold."

"Is it wrong that I want something...filling right now.  And no, get your mind out of the gutter!" I shove Shinsou before he can say anything.

"I wasn't even thinking it, who actually has the dirty mind, hm?"  He pokes the side of my head.

After I'm done pouting at him, I suggest, "Do you think there's a tempura place open around here?  Actually, I just really want fries and something else."

"Anything else, your royal highness?" he smirks and unlocks his car.

"Mmm," I hum as I settle into his passenger seat.  "A pet dragon would be nice too.  Or full payment on my college education."

Shinsou chuckles at my sarcasm.  "Anything for you, kitty."  Holding my hand, he kisses my palm before starting the engine.

As he drives down the abandoned road, I lean my head against the window, staring out the windshield.  The sky's already black, but there's too much light and the car's moving too fast to count the stars.  Something about the emptiness of everything at night calms me down.  It almost feels like Shinsou and I are the only 2 people in the world at this hour.  Even the parking lot of the fast food joint down the block is deserted.

"I'll get it to go so we can eat in here, what do you want?" my purple haired prince asks me sweetly, unbuckling his seatbelt.

"10 piece nuggets and medium fries.  And a diet soda, I'm watching my calories."  I whisper the last part.

"Coming right up."

.

"Are you sure it's okay to eat in your car?" I ask, tentatively opening the paper bag of food goodness.  I didn't realize how hungry I was until the smell of high calorie fast food wafts in front of my nose.

Shinsou's eyes are on the road as he drives down the roadway.  "Yeah I don't care, it's not like my car's new or anything."

I dip into the bag and grab my box of nuggets.  A smile graces my face when I notice he remembered the sweet and sour sauce.  "Why are you so good to me?"

"Because you're my kitty and I love you," he answers without missing a beat, his large hand messing up my hair.

A familiar fuzzy warmth fills me as I lean into his touch.  Digging into my nuggets, I end up completely demolishing them, the hole in my stomach finally filling  at the process meat.  I don't care how old I get, I will always have chicken nuggets at fast food restaurants.  Every once in a while, Shinsou would ask for one of my fries, and  I'd happily feed him.

I have no idea where we're going; for some reason, we're on the highway.  I just quietly finish my meal and sip my drink.

Shinou's eyes glint with mischief.  "Since we're alone on the highway..."

My eyes widen.  "Babe, no-!"

The engine revs to life under my boyfriend's lead foot and the car jolts forward.  I clutch my fries and almost choke on my soda as we speed down the highway.  The biggest grin spreads across his face.

"Hitoshi, I'm not ready to die!"

He takes his foot off the gas and the car relaxes, as does my heart.  But he knows how much I secretly love it when he does that.  "At least wait until I'm not about to choke before you do that!"

Laughing at me, he passes me his phone. "Play whatever you want, kitty."

Oh, it's over now.

I select a playlist of hype songs we both love, belting out the lyrics from the top of our lungs as Shinsou speeds down the highway. A mess of screams, laughter, loud music, and singing fill the entire space as we zip past all the lights on the highway.  It reminds of what it might feel like rocketing through space. The pit of my stomach feels weightless from the excitement and the speeding car.

Are we crazy?  Maybe.  Did I savor every second of it?  Absolutely.

Shinsou finally slows down and exits down a beach.  Pulling into an empty space, he parks the car and gets out, waving for me to follow him.  We end up sitting on the hood of his car, eating our food under a blanket he keeps in his car.  A nearby streetlight dimly illuminates our dark space.

I snuggle Shinsou's left arm and look out into the dark expanse.  I can finally count the stars, between stealing bites from Shinsou's burger.  Clutching my end of the blanket over me, I lay my head on his shoulder.  "It's so strange sitting on the hood of a car."

"Guess you've never done it before," he replies quietly, balling up his empty wrapper and placing it back in the bag.  Both arms wrap around me, resting his head on top of mine.  "I used to come here when I wanted to clear my mind.  There's just a whole lot of nothing and silence."

I can't agree more.  The darkness - the absence of light - makes everything seem quiet and empty.  Something about it feels liberating, letting all my emotions flow out in front of me freely and let me just be.  A breathe in and let it rattle out of me.  The endless void surrounds us, isolates us, encloses us so our thoughts can't bother us.

Shinsou brings me closer, letting me sit halfway on his lap, placing a gentle kiss on my temple.  "Are you feeling better, kitty?  I know you're pretty stressed, more so than your usual anxious self.  I figured bringing you out here would help somewhat."

My heart swells with warmth.  I hug him tighter and close my eyes, leaning my head to his chest.  "Thank you, Hitoshi.  You've done a lot for me, I really appreciate it.  You really went out of your way  for me."

"Nothing's out of my way for you."  His large hand rubs my scalp.  "You work so hard, you deserve this."

I snuggle deeper into his chest, my eyes slowly closing as the rhythm  of his heartbeat calms me.  "What did I do to deserve you?" I mumble.

"Well, maybe you saved an entire country," he jokes, pressing another kiss into the top of my head and running his fingers lightly on the back of my head, "But I think you just being perfect deserves all the happiness I can give you."

"You're too sweet."  I drift off to a light sleep in his arms, surrounded by his warmth, choosing to think about life some other time.